Someone turned 9 today....

Happy birthday sweet Madelyn!!! We had a FULL day of celebrations!!! Pictures and text coming soon....Mama is tired!!!

God bless and thank you Lord for our girl.

Life...

Oh life...I love my life, thank God everyday for the health of my children, husband and myself. I am so thankful to be able to be home with my kids cuz I know what's it's like to have to work outside of the home and trust others to care for my child. I am blessed.

Some days well, life can be interesting... Today for example was Monday, grocery shopping day which means I get up at 6:30am, shower and leave the house by 7:30-8:00am to get my shopping done for the week which consists of 3 different stores due to prices and favorites. We start school late on Mondays so Trevor can be with the girls. I call it "home economics" class for Trevor. I managed to get everything checked off my list in perfect time, I knew it was going to be a great day! I pull in, Trevor helps me unload and then all of a sudden time was flying and one thing after another kept popping up making it impossible to get life in order for my three little peanuts. One needed this, the other that...oh my! The needs just kept mounting up and I was finding myself getting alittle frustrated with my life at the moment. I'm going to be real honest here so please don't judge. Some days I feel defeated. Linzhi needs bathroom assistance, help with feedings, dressing, hair, teeth, etc... Madelyn is pretty independent except for the bathroom if she's wearing pants or shorts of any kind. Rachel is my child that will challenge me from the minute she wakes up until she hits the pillow at night and now all the girls are bickering left and right over the most trivial things in the world! (yes, mom I know Allison and I did the same things) LOL... But all joking aside, today I wanted to be as far away from my house full of blessings as I possible could and I feel terrible about that but that's reality sometimes. I am finding myself very tired. Adopting an older child with a language barrier and with mild but obvious physical disabilities is tough...very tough and some days I talk to her like she understands me and then I forget and run to the translator and type it all in and pray she gets it!! *sigh* One day I know we will be able to communicate and I thank God for every little breakthrough we have with language but some times are more trying than others and bless Madelyn's heart, she is such a trooper. =)

So I admit, all heck broke loose today! But I will say this, we had a great day at school when we finally got everyone in order so we could get to the classroom AND best of all...Madelyn was able to get through the day without crying due to grief (Praise the Lord). See a little breakthrough. =) Tomorrow will be a new day and my girls will wake up with perfect attitudes and happy smiles for each other ALL DAY LONG...Ok maybe not but we'll manage through lots of prayers and I'm sure some laughs and maybe some tears here and there. So I am going to bed tonight with my cup overflowing with gratitude so when all heck breaks loose tomorrow, I'm going to run to my computer and reread my post. ;)

Have a great Tuesday!

One day at a time...

Actually my new motto is...One minute at a time...one hour at a time... That's how we get through some of our days. It is not terrible at all...It truly is wonderful and I am so very thankful for all my children, my husband, my home, my life. But when you have a child that will be 9 years in 9 days and you've only been apart of her life for almost 2 months life is going to be interesting for awhile. Yesterday was great! Madelyn and Linzhi started dance and Rachel started acrobats (all at the same time at the same studio but in different rooms). CJ and I would go back and forth to watch our girls and WOW they were loving it. Linzhi Rose made sure to tell the dance instructor all about Madelyn, it was precious however when it was shoe change time we had to tell Linzhi to pay attention...I don't think she understood... =) Not only did they have dance in the evening, they also had gymnastics during the day along with school so their day was full so there wasn't much bickering which triggers the melt downs. Today, well let's just say it was better than Tuesday, Madelyn only had one which I'm praising God for. My friends, it so so hard to watch and wait it out but it is so wonderful to know that each time it happens we are getting one step closer to healing and that's why I tell myself one minute at a time, one hour at a time because it happens in a minute and it takes about an hour for her to come out of her fog which always ends in lots of hugging and tears but we're getting there. Thank you for prayers...We can feel them. God is with us no doubt.

Sadness.

I don't even know how to start this post. Our Madelyn has been hit very hard with grief and loss. We are not surprised or panicking, we are so very sad for our girl. Two times today, I sat next to her in her bedroom as she stared at the wall sobbing for her foster family. I know this because I asked her through the translator. My heart has never felt so much pain for any of my children. Linzhi struggled but not for too long (praise God). At one point today, Madelyn did not want me to hold her or look at her. I was not hurt or upset, I totally gave her space, I just sat next to her so she knew I was there and she was not alone. After 20 minutes, I told her I would be back with the laptop and phone. When I came back I asked her if she would like to call her foster father, she said yes, we dialed and it didn't go through. *sigh* ... So I emailed the orphanage director asking if he could help. We're waiting for a response so please pray we can get him on the phone for her. I would love for her to be able to talk to him 1-2 times per week through SKYPE. So all this happened in the morning. We started school late because everything stopped when she broke down. School was challenging today, the girls were not able to sit still or listen. I almost walked out of the room...twice! I prayed with the girls and by the Grace of God we got through the day. During our lunch break Rachel, Linzhi and Madelyn had words and that sent Madelyn back up to her room sobbing. This time she was angry! She knocked down our folders and threw down her purse. Before I went up, I had a talk with Rachel and Linzhi asking them to be patient and kind to her as she is struggling right now. Rachel burst into tears at the thought of Madelyn missing her family in China. She said to me "it's like if you died mama and we would have to live without you" and I do agree, it is like a death for Madelyn and not being able to do anything but pray for her asking the Lord to heal her, we must wait patiently for her to get this all out so she can heal. It could be years but we're in it forever. When I was finished talking with the girls, I went up to see Madelyn. She had her back to the door and she was facing the wall again. I told her I was coming in and she did move so I could get through the door. She again did not want me to touch or hold her so I sat quietly next to her for about 15 minutes then I had to run to the bathroom and told her I would be back, she nodded without looking at me. When I returned, she had moved away from the door, I sat across from her and she looked right into my eyes. I asked her if I could hold her and she almost jumped into my lap. We held each other for at least 10 minutes crying. I told her through the translator that I know she is hurting, angry, confused, homesick, sad, etc... I told her we love her very much and that I wished I could take all her pain away. I also assured her that it is ok to feel all that she is feeling and we are here to help her through this. I prayed over her aloud and she followed my prayer with an "amen". I (we) love this little girl with all our hearts. She has such a sweet disposition, always ready with a smile or a song so when she hurts, it rips our hearts out. This is a process... A L.O.N.G. process. There's good, there's not so good, there's AMAZING times and not so amazing but the truth is this God is in complete control here, I can feel it all around. The enemy may try to hurt us but the shield of Jesus is so much greater and stronger than that pesty fly, I just do not like it when my baby girl is being attacked. Oh my heart. Please pray for her. She is such a brave little angel girl.

Home School-Mandarin class. ***UPDATE***

I had a sweet video to post of Madelyn teaching Rachel and Linzhi Mandarin however, for some reason I can't get the video up!?!? So...I have some cute pictures of their Mandarin lesson today which was practicing writing Chinese characters (we bought practice books in Wuhan) and learning colors. Oh how I love to watch this! Madelyn takes it very seriously and so does Rachel, Linzhi...Not so much (lol). Rachel is picking it up quickly which gives Madelyn (and me) great joy. Home school is going great! We are very busy with projects and worksheets but we're having so much fun and it's such a blessing to have Trevor in the next room too. Tomorrow is Friday which means it's art class with Trevor. =)

**UPDATE** The director of Madelyn's orphanage gave us his personal email address and asked that we send updates so they can see how she's doing. So this evening I did just that and requested the update be sent to her foster family as well. Well, within an hour he emailed us back a sweet note and promised to forward the update to her foster family...PRAISE GOD! My prayer is that they have some peace of mind knowing how much she is loved. I know it will be bittersweet. Please pray for healing of broken hearts. I know they miss her and she misses them. I will be showing her the email tomorrow morning, I know she'll be tickled!

Rachel practicing Chinese characters.

Madelyn showing the girls how to write the names of colors in Chinese characters.

Sister love.


Sweetness.

Admiration.

Be still my heart.

Today in journal writing, I had them copy this sentence into their journal "I give thanks to God for..." Then they had to draw what they were thankful to God for. Madelyn drew a sun, clouds and her forever mama and dadda. When she showed it to me, my heart stopped for a minute...

To my love.

September 6th marks the day that I married the love of my life. My one and only. Forever.

Happy anniversary to my CJ.