Tuesday, November 30, 2010

To blog or not to blog?

I have to admit, I hardly think of my blog anymore. I have so much to say but time is not on my side however, I love to look back on our lives and this blog has proved to be a wonderful way to capture memories. But still, it's one more thing to think about, ya know what I mean?!?!?

What should I do?

Any Suggestions?


Friday, November 19, 2010

3 year forever family day!

Three years ago in a dark/damp civil affairs office in Nanjing (pronounced Nan-Jin) CJ, my sister Allison and I sat on pins and needles waiting for our Linzhi Rose. I will never forget how she felt in my arms, the thickness of her hair, the scent of her skin and ALL THE CLOTHES she was wearing. As we unwrapped her we found a teeny tiny scared little girl. Oh how I wish I could go back that day and hold her. It's no secret Linzhi and I didn't bond right away but oh my heart, that girl is mine! (And daddy too). My Linzhi is by far my easiest child, she has a servants heart and loves to joyfully help you anytime. I cannot type this without tears because out of all my children Linzhi had the toughest beginning. Madelyn knew love and felt love, she is not a typical orphan (praise God). Our Linzhi came to us knowing hunger and thirst and didn't know how to be anything but a child waiting in line to eat and maybe get a drink. She still guzzles her water( but now it's because she's too busy to stop and enjoy it) and she still needs to know there's food available but over time I have seen how my little rose has blossomed into a little girl knowing her daddy and mama will never leave her, she will always be fed, she will always be loved and cherished and she knows heart and soul who her saviour is. My little peanut can recite with pride Psalm 23, she works the hardest at everything but you would never know it, she is always cheerful. I love you Linzhi Rose Xiao Li. Our journey together is nothing but a miracle and I am so grateful to God our father for picking YOU especially for mama and daddy and we are so grateful your China mama and baba chose to give you a chance at life. Happy forever family day to you!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Birthday wishes for my baby girl

Today our daughter Rachel turns 7. Oh my heart! We love this kid so much!! When we found out she was on her way, it changed EVERYTHING! Getting her here was not easy but we praise God she made her way into our lives. Rachel is my mini me, we are both a little over dramatic at pretty spark-a-lee things and LOVE to browse (Linz, Madelyn, daddy and Trev, not so much). Some days she can make all my hair turn gray and then I melt. What can I say, I love my girl!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Golly...It's been too long. I wanted to post this before I forgot and it was too sweet and precious not to post AND I have some exciting news for our Miss Linzhi.

We'll start with Madelyn. This evening my poor hubby was having a difficult time breathing. He's a long time sufferer of Asthma. It truly breaks our hearts when he has such a time with it and this evening for some reason he got bad almost to the point of heading to the ER for a steroid shot. Rachel, Madelyn and I held hands and prayed while Linzhi and daddy went to the bathroom. Madelyn asked intently what was wrong with daddy. I told her he was having trouble breathing but he will be OK. She looked very serious and sat down at the dining room table while I finished up dinner. Our dining area is open to the kitchen so I talked to her while I cooked, she got very quiet and a little red in the face. I asked her if she was ok? She got up from her chair quickly walked over to me wrapped her arms around my waist and started to sob. I got on my knees, looked her in the face and asked what was the matter!??! Through heavy tears she asked "Is daddy going to die?" Oh my heart! By this time CJ was in the kitchen and heard what she said. He grabbed his eldest baby girl and they hugged for a l.o.n.g time. For the first time Madelyn let her wall come down for her daddy. It has taken much time for this to happen, in fact we didn't know if it would ever happen because she was so close to her China daddy. CJ never pushed himself on her, he gave her plenty of space and little by little she would let him in. So tonight, our hearts were so blessed to witness the love she has in her heart for her new daddy. You see, we talk about her China mama and daddy all the time, we want to celebrate them with her because she loves and misses them so much and we are so grateful to them for loving and taking such excellent care of her. We pray for them and this has proven to help Madelyn. It is still heart breaking because as her English gets so much better she is able to tell me more and more. The other day we were talking about what her China mama would make her to eat. I asked her if she missed her and she said "yes but I not going to see again" Sorry folks, I could not hold it in, the tears welled in my eyes, when Madelyn saw this she said to me sternly (that's my Madelyn). "No cry mama, I happy with you." Oh my heart, I (we) love that girl so very much! I love having her in our home, I love watching her get ready for "Merry Christmas" and "Jesus happy birthday" Last year at this time we were devastated because we thought we lost her for the 2nd time and TO GOD BE THE GLORY she is here in our arms. God is so amazing. There is no way if it's God's way for things not to work for your good if you seek His will for your life. I am so grateful we didn't allow our fears to keep us from continuing the journey to get her. We will always be open to the calling of adoption, I just pray he's not finished with us in that department yet...wink wink...

Ok, Linzhi Rose. Yesterday we went to The Univ. Of Chicago to meet with a hand specialist Dr. M. We left completely amazed at what he is able to do for her! It's a process of several surgeries (4-5) but in time our Linzhi will finally be able to bring her hands to her mouth which means she will be able to feed herself, pull up her pants, comb her hair, overall she will be able to live independently one day IF and that's a big IF we allow her to leave (smile). Anyway, the first surgery is going to be complex. He is going to remove her Latissimus muscle from her back and transplant it into her Bicep muscle...Yep, can you believe it?!?!?! We were speechless. This will enable her to have the strength to bend her elbow to bring her hand to her mouth and in time possibly the back of her head. He will do one elbow at a time so once that is finished he will then go into her teeny tiny wrists to release her extremely tight teeny tiny tendon which will allow her teeny tiny fingers to extend and she will be able to keep her wrist in a neutral position. These surgeries will not be easy for her, they will require pain management, physical therapy and Miss Linzhi will have to learn how to reuse her hands. He also confirmed she does indeed have Arthrogryposis it's just very rare that she only has it in her uppers and not her lowers. He stated in the 30 years of his career he has only seen 4 cases and that includes our baby. Sweet Jesus is working out all the details for our precious Lu Belle. I will keep you all posted. We return on January 3rd to discuss the first surgery. Please keep her in your prayers.

My Rachel will be 7 on Monday (sniff sniff). We love that girl! She is such a selfless child especially when it comes to helping her sisters. She is the best swing pusher (Underdogs are her specialty), she never hesitates to help in the bathroom or if one of them needs assistance with getting dressed, she truly is a blessing to them AND she needs them too. They fight like the best of them but they love each other completely. God certainly knew what he was doing when He put those three girls together.

Trevor is doing great, loving his job and he's grades are amazing! I can't believe my baby boy will be 18 in January. I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE AN ADULT CHILD....DO YOU HEAR ME!??!?! Ha Ha...I had him at 19 so I guess I'm not that old... I wrote him a letter when he was a new born, I sealed it and tucked it in his baby book with a note attached "Do not open until January 12, 2011" This January he will open it and read the words his young mama wrote to him. Every time I think of it, I get teary because I remember writing that letter and thinking WOW, 18 years is so long away and yes it is a long period of time but honestly it went by too fast for me. My prayer is that he continues to walk with the Lord so that his time on earth will be filled Grace and Hope. I will always be his mama and will keep many tabs on him and be there whenever he needs me but actually "mothering" him has started to become less and less as he crosses the line from child to now young adult. It's all good and healthy for him but this mama's heart sure misses that 7 year old boy that would draw me pictures and sit next to me and let me hold him. I still get hugs and smooches but he towers over me now and it's not appropriate for him to sit on my lap anymore (lol) so I will tuck all my sweet memories of my little boy in my heart and look forward to watching my son grow into a Godly man. what a blessing it is to be his mom.

This weekend is party-ville at our house celebrating our precious Rachel. Monday I will post pictures and some words from my heart.

God bless to all.