Monday, January 25, 2010




Once I am able to stop the tears and get my thoughts together I will write more. LOVE you all for praying with us for the last 5 months!

PRAISING JESUS the Messiah!!!


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Rachel, Linzhi Rose and stuff

I know, I know, I said I was going to go on hiatus...Well, I guess I can't stay away. There are so many things going on in my head that I'm finding it hard to sleep...So I decided to check in on my son's facebook page and came across this cute picture of my little girlies on Halloween and since I was in a complete fog of fear over that holiday, I never did post any Halloween pics...Shame on me! Here's Rachel as Ariel (doing her swimming moves) and Linzhi Rose as Mulan. I just love those babies and my big guy Trev!

No news from USC!S. I've had a couple of bad days with fear and doubt. I'm not going to lie, it's been tough. I am standing firm with Jesus...I just wish He was able to sit down on my couch and physically hold me while I cry. I know He's with me, I feel Him but I would love to be able to hold His hand or feel Him holding mine. Isn't that so childlike? I am so grateful for His word and I cling to my bible for all things in life...The great, no so great and just horrible. He is here with all of us through it all, He is holding my hand and holding me when I get weak and cry out for a decision. Can you tell, I've been a blubbering cry baby the last couple of days, it just hits me like a ton of bricks, my nose burns and my eyes getting watery over the littlest of things. I think I hold it in too much so I'm going to scream it now....


I. AM. SO.TIRED. OF. WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S BEEN FIVE MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, better! LOL... I laugh because it is totally what I (we) want. We want it our way, right? I mean come on in my mind it makes perfect sense and it all works according to MY plans. However, God is different. He works in His timing which of course is perfect but to us, while we're in the middle of the storm, it doesn't make any sense at all. Yes, I am going through a tough spot but I will not let the enemy win, no way! I know there is an end to this everlasting, major hiccup...I just have no idea when the Lord will answer our prayers (yes or no). *sigh*

I think way back in April when we were praying for our PA from China. I promised God if we indeed received our PA I would not fret or get anxious during the course of the adoption because the odds were against us with the PA and He came through for us then and I know He will again. I need to keep my end of the bargain because He always keeps His. It's hard to be human, isn't it?? I mean all the peaks and valleys of walking with the Lord, He never promised it would be easy but He keeps His promise as the Shepard of His flock. We are His and he will never let us go to far off the deep without His hand to pull us back. What a relief! Amen!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Happy birthday to my first blessing!

17 years ago this precious young man drifted into my life at 10:18 PM (I was born t 10:18 AM, 19 year earlier...LOL) and he has been nothing but a joy since then. Around Christmas time, our pastor challenged the church to read the bible everyday in 2010. He asked those interested to sign up at the back of the church because he wanted to encourage those people throughout the year. Now we have around 250 people that regularly attend our church and the last time I asked only 23 people signed up for the challenge. My son was one of them. I still get a lump in my throat when I think about my boy taking the challenge. What a blessing for me to know my teenage son is saved!!! What an enormous blessing for me to know his savior is Jesus Christ and what I love most about him is that he is never ashamed to profess his faith to anyone. It's plastered all over his facebook and will even post quotes. Can you tell how proud I am to be his mother???? I pray he continues his walk throughout his entire life. I can't wait to see what the Lord has up his sleeve for Trevor.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TREVOR CHRISTOPHER!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!! Here's to 100 more years!!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Blog redo

It's that time again to give the blog a new look! If you're looking for a great blog designer at a reasonable price...Check Becky out!

And to all my sweet friends out there in our tight knit adoption blog family. Thank you for all your precious comments on my last post. It is such a blessing for me to know each and everyone of you. Honestly girls, at some point we need to have a reunion or a ladies getaway weekend!!!


Monday, January 4, 2010

What to post, what to post????

I am trying to think of something to post about, there's a ton going on! I'm trying to get my house packed and organized for our big move up the road and then there's all the fun prep work for the new house like, paint colors, flooring, new appliances, just to name a few...

But then there has been some HUGE changes for me spiritually. I wish I would put into words how much the Lord has been working on me, changing me, testing me, laughing with me, crying with me... And I'm finding myself running to Him like I've never before. Yes, I need Him for everything but It's different than even that, I feel the old Amy dying and the new Amy beginning to live the way He's wanted me to live for such a long time. I know He made me fearfully in His imagine and I know He knows I've been very stubborn most of my life when it came to living completely for Him. So I guess I can say I finally feel the peace and freedom of completely surrendering to Him, my chains are falling from my body and I feel renewed in so many parts of my life that I felt would never change. I'm going to be real honest here and share an example:

I was chained to vanity. I'm not kidding, it was not healthy and for years I let it get the best of me and even allowed it to keep me from leaving the house. Some who really know me may laugh and say "Don't be so dramatic, we're all like that" Yes, I see a lot of the women in my life stress about weight, hair, make-up, wrinkles, etc... I was right there with them and my deal has always been my HAIR!!!!!!!!! I've cut it, curled it, colored it, straightened it, fried it, conditioned it, hated it, loved it, you get the idea right??? I had a huge wake up call when my younger cousin was diagnosed and is in stage 4 breast cancer. It almost makes me sick to think how much I take for granted...So, this is my new dedication... I will thank God every day for granting me another healthy day to take care of my husband, kids and home. I will not allow Satan to make me feel less of a women by flooding me with imagines on TV or magazines that pressure me to look a certain way. I refuse to allow my hair or any other vanity issues keep me from enjoying or missing out on any part of my life. Seriously, this is a serious issues for many women and I'm not saying to let yourself go. I work out 3-4 days a week to keep my body healthy and I will only allow 15 mins for my hair and if it goes over that than I walk away from the mirror. Ok, I'm off my soap box about vanity. You get the idea. I just want to say one more things, if you ever feel ugly or fat or whatever, go to your bible immediately. Jesus tells us over and over again how much we are loved and wanted. God created us in His image and He doesn't make mistakes. Take care of your body by feeding it well (splurging once in a while too), love your body, yes LOVE it no matter what the scale or the size of jeans you're wearing these days. Every time I want to complain, I think of Lindsay, my cousin who is desperately trying to hang on to life a little while longer to raise her 5 beautiful children. I know she would love to worry about jeans sizes over chemo, radiation, side affects, hair loss, fear, anxiety, you get the idea. So no more of that garbage in my life!!!!

Here's another example:

Yes, we are still in limbo on the adoption front. It has been 2 weeks since USC!S received our response of a new home study and approvals. Surprisingly, I'm calm. CJ and I both feel we are being tested spiritually and this is one test we both want to pass! I'm going to be honest here, I have NO idea what will happen with USC!S but it's really not up to them. It's truly God's plan and we decided to let go of the reins completely. I will not email or call for updates, I will not allow satan to come into my head and make me freak out every time a get an email alert or see the mail truck (yes, I admit I stalked to poor mail man), I will not allow satan to rob me of any more Joy. How can I allow that to happen and miss out on all the miracles and confirmation we have received from our God Almighty? Yes, we're human and there are days that get tough but honestly, it's less and less. I feel decision time is coming soon and we're ready! Once it's all done I will post about our story that I haven't shared yet, between the dates of September 4, 2009 to ???? God has shown up big time! In fact, a couple of times I think my mouth flew right open!!! So I feel like this, there is nothing bigger or greater than the one and only Jesus Christ. He's got Madelyn's back, He's got us covered, He's walking next to us, holding us, picking us up, brushing the dirt off us and confirming over and over to keep moving and that we're on the right track. I look back on the events of the last four months and I am so thankful our faith and trust is being tested. I want to grow closer to Him, I want to know Him better, I want Him to take over our lives in a Big way, I want to glorify Him in all that I do! (CJ does too, big changes in CJ since coming home from his mission trip in China). I honestly feel like we're being asked to "walk the walk" and I welcome it! Even if we are not the parents He choses for Madelyn, I know He's got her covered. I will grieve terribly , don't get me wrong. I. Will. Be. Heartbroken. (We all will) but through our tears we will praise Him always.

Hopefully, my next post will be about DECISION DAY!!!! Please continue to pray for us!!!! We covet all your prayers. There is so much POWER in PRAYER!!!

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess."

Hebrews 4:14