Sunday, August 23, 2009

UN-break my heart...

Our Rachel started kindergarten last Thursday. I must confess, it's been very hard on me...Rachel a bit too. The first day started with a school assembly in the church sanctuary, it was really sweet and Rachel got into the music and clapping.. As I was watching her I was flooded with memories of just her and me. I've been home with her from day one and while Trev was at school and CJ at work, it was just the two of us, attached at the hip! Four years later, Linzhi joined our twosome and we've had a blast. We then moved into the class room for orientation and organizing our little scholars, sooner than later it was time for us to leave her with her teachers and new classmates (9 boys 3 girls including Rachel)...When all of a sudden Rachel grabs my hand looks up at me as utter the words I have dreaded "mama, please don't leave". I was crushed! Big tears filled her eyes and mine as I picked her up and walked her out to the cubby area, CJ and Linzhi following behind. We smothered her with hugs, kisses and promises of "We'll be back soon", I finally had to say good-bye and walked out with Linzhi (who was crying as well), CJ then walked Rachel back to her desk so she could get adjusted. Apparently, she stopped the tears for daddy and seemed to be just fine when I picked her up 2 hours later.

The second day, she did fine, no tears and I held it together until I walked out of the school, I must admit I did the "ugly" cry in my car and wept for the years that went way too fast. I've done this before with Trevor but it still hurts. I feel like such a cry baby! *sigh* It took a few days of much prayer for me to feel better about her at school and I feel more peace in my heart that this is the right decision for her.

Tomorrow is Monday, I have her lunch packed with a smiley note, book bag ready to go.... I will drop my baby off for 6.5 hours of learning, fun and discovery, all the things we want her to experience. But PLEASE LORD, protect her while she's out of my arms.

Trying to pull it together,
Amy =(

5 comments:

Lori Lee said...

What a sweet post!

Julie said...

I remember those feelings all too well. This year was easier for me since Morgan and Bryson are at school together. When we signed them up we got to meet their teachers and found out that I have known Morgans teacher since I was about in sixth grade! What a relief! We also found out that their classrooms are two doors down from each other, and she was one door down from Mrs. Huggins. Talk about easing my mind! Morgan had to be pulled off of us the first day of pre school. She was screaming and I was trying so hard to pull it all together. Her little face was blue from crying so hard. I cried when I walked out. That only lasted a couple of days and from then on she loved to go to school. It is always harder on us as parents though!

Hang in there!
Julie

Jenna York said...

*sigh* I cried when I started kindergarten with Avery. They are our babies. It's not easy watching these sweet little ones grow up on us. Praing for strenght and adjustments for you guys.

Desiree' said...

I still cry and myu oldest is going into 8th grade. I think this is something that most mom's just do. I don't think we will ever be able to let go completely.

sara said...

Oh, Amy - I thought I had "no issues" and then *I* went to back to school tonight, by myself. I had no friends, no one to talk to, I didn't know where I was going. For 2 hours I felt like what they feel like for 7 hours a day. I'll admit, a few tears were shed on the way home!!

It must be harder for us...it has to be....

Congrats on the exchange student, can't wait!!