Update in pictures! (in no particular order)

Photo of Linzhi by Madelyn.

Madelyn and Linzhi (self portrait)

See what happens when my camera disappears!

Our Linzhi LOVES pillow pets!

Posing with Linzhi's pillow pets (picture by Linzhi)

Another cute picture by Madelyn.

At MGM with Handy Mandy!

Universal Studios at Harry Potter-Trevor's absolute favorite!

Passing out in Madelyn's wheelchair (staged of course!)

With Belle at Cinderella's castle.

And Snow White.

Embracing Cinderella.

On the train at Magic Kingdom!

Ariella. Big brother stated "she's the prettiest"

Minnie's place

Toon town. Last week before it was taken down =(

Early morning at Denny's as we were leaving for our long drive to Florida!

Craft time!

Chinese New Year preparations!

Linzhi filling her red envelopes.

Madelyn too!

Sisters forever!

Madelyn being goofy at the Children's museum. Madelyn getting her pizza order.

Linzhi cooking plastic hot dogs.

Rachel bringing me my order.

Madelyn playing dentist.

Linzhi showing me how she can stretch her hands. PROGRESS!

Posing for mama.

Water works. Fun and WET!

Back at the diner.

School, working on self portrait.

Rachel too!

Trevor at his 18th birthday party!

Madelyn made me lunch. Ham sandwich and an orange.

Sharing Madelyn's story

My sweet Madelyn. She brings so much joy to our lives. She's is witty and sharp as a whip and her mathematical skills...forget about it, she's brilliant! As she is learning more and more English, she and I talk all the time about her past life in China. I am sharing this with all of you because I know there are some folks out there that are adopting older children and this information may be helpful in some way. It's not easy to share because it breaks my heart all over again for her but I know the Lord is with her, she is on fire for JESUS and I know He has mighty plans for our girl. Madelyn is usually the last one to finish eating at the dinner table which has given CJ and I some valuable one on one with her. She loves to talk and she loves to talk about "her" China and I chuckle as I type this because she feels Linzhi's China is very different from her China and Linzhi feels her China is very different than Madelyn's. *sisters* Anyway, one evening Madelyn asked me if I miss someone. I said yes, I miss my grandpa and grandma that passed away almost 10 years ago, then she asked CJ if he missed someone and he said he misses his dad that passed away too. I then asked Madelyn if she was missing someone (I know she is) and she answered her China mom and dad. I went out on a limb and asked what she misses the most. My eyes were welling and my throat was lumpy but I strongly feel she needs to get it all out to fully heal from her loss. She stated she misses dinner time with them. Oh my heart. I just picture her at the dinner table with them, laughing and being silly like she is with us. How do you mend her broken heart? I then sat real close to her, held her in my arms and told her how sorry I was that she was missing them so much and how I wished for her one day she could go back to Wuhan to see them and I added that I don't know why God chose for her to leave her China family to be apart of ours but we are so happy she is here. She looked at me very seriously and firmly and stated this. " Mom, I know why I am here. My China mom is going to be dead soon. Her doctor told her because she is sick in her stomach, no one could take care of me so God gave me to you and daddy" I type through tears because my 9 year old knows why God did the amazing thing He did for her precious life. He gave her a forever family that would pour the power of Jesus on her and show her that life in Christ will set her free and she gets it! WOW. CJ and I looked at each other is complete awe at our little treasure. So that evening as I was going to bed, I checked on all my kiddies. Madelyn of course was still awake, I gave her lots of hugs and told her how much I loved her and how daddy and I are so grateful she's our daughter. We said good night and I went to bed. As I laid there, I wept. I could not control it. It felt too big for me so I went into prayer for my daughter. Within minutes, I was back in her room gathering her pillow and walked her back with me. I cradled her in my arms and we prayed together. I told her I never want her to bottle things up inside (What's bottled up mom? =) and I want her to know she can tell me anything. She replied, anything? Yep, I answered anything. Ok mom, I have something to tell you (insert stomach dropping). She continued, when I was 4 years old my China mom and dad worked so my sister (foster parents daughter, age 20 at the time) would babysit me until they came home from work. "Well, she hit me lots". I couldn't speak. All I could muster up was "Hit you?" "Yeah, I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself cuz my hands not good so I would cry and cry because I had to go potty and then I pee pee my pants and she would hit my face". I asked how many times she did this and she replied about "12 or 15 times." I was without words, I held her and my tears dripped on her head. I told her as best as I could that she would never be hurt again and she answered "I know mom, you love me". Finally I was able to ask her if she ever told her parents what happened and she said she did and that her China mom hit her sister with the broom until she cried and from that point on she was never alone with her again. So from age 4 until 5 Madelyn suffered from physical abuse. Of course, we are angry and hurt for our little girl. She was loved by her parents but not loved by her sister and I feel she was probably maybe jealous of Madelyn and took her anger out on our girl. Madelyn told me her sister was not good in her head so we both agreed we needed to pray a lot for her and we do. You see, when you adopt an older child they were without you for years and years, they have a past life of being vulnerable and alone and if by the Grace of God they come out of the life of an orphan most likely they'll join a family that doesn't speak their language so it's months before the healing can begin. If you are just coming home or will be going to get your older child soon, my advice is to be very patient because there is so much more to them than what is written about them on the report from the file. There is pain and suffering that most likely took place and lots of loss to top it off. I feel in my heart Madelyn saw violence that's why she crumbles so easily at any arguments that occur with the girls but I also see Madelyn is becoming more and more comfortable in her own skin and now that she can talk to me and her daddy she is expressing herself and sharing her precious life with us. I will forever be haunted by what my daughter went through and as we discover her more we may find more painful truths to her life before us but hearing this and praying with her, crying with her, holding her as if she was a baby brought us closer in so many ways. I get her more now than ever and CJ is even more gentler with her now. Behind her wit and sense of humor is a little girl that has lived a lot of life in her short 9 years and carries a great loss in her heart but Madelyn knows why the Lord brought her here and she told me how much she loves Jesus. In my heart and soul, that's all I need to know. Jesus is in the process of healing her broken soul and I know He has big plans for our girl. It's just going to take lots and lots of time. Please pray for all the older kiddos out there that are in the process of getting to know their new family OR for those precious souls that wait to see if their time will ever come. God bless.

Confessions...

*I tried to break this post in paragraphs but for some reason, I can't. Sorry!!!* I confess, I have neglected my blog...No, I totally forgot my blog! I have so much to update...Here's a little bit of what's been going on around here. • Mid-January my dad found out he had prostate cancer but by the Grace of God he is now cancer free after a successful surgery and a clean pathology report. Thank you Jesus!!! • First week of February, we packed up and drove to Florida for DISNEY WORLD! We had a blast, it was a great time to go as we were able to just walk on some of the rides, no waiting! The longest we waited was about 10 minutes. Madelyn experienced DW for the first time which made it especially sweet. We scheduled a lunch at Cinderella's castle (second time I celebrated my birthday at the castle...LOL) Madelyn and Rachel were speechless when their favorite princess Belle came to our table, they were polite, said hello and gave her a hug, Linzhi on the other hand talked her head off! It was too cute to see how chatty Linzhi was with everyone she met. My little shy baby has turned into a social butterfly. It's amazing how love can change a person. God is good! Trevor was a good sport at the castle and told us that Ariela was his favorite...LOL... She was pretty! We drove instead of flying which I thought would be a challenge but it was actually fun and lots of memories were made. • We have about 6 more weeks of homeschool and I have to say, I am excited for next year! We love it and the girls are flourishing. It's been a God send from day one and Miss Madelyn in now officially bilingual. She can read English with comprehension and her spelling is out of this world. Best educational decision we have made for our kids. • All three girls are in gymnastics this year and absolutely love every minute of it. We're wrapping up mid-May until the fall and I have to admit, I'm looking forward to having a easy going summer of swimming and activities without a schedule • In March, I got an offer to go back to work from my former employer. I left almost exactly two years ago and I was a little heartbroken because I loved my job so much but Rachel and Linzhi were so little that it was just too hard to work from home with them. But God's timing is everything and CJ and I feel this is really a blessing. I had a brief moment of "what am I doing? where am I going to find the time?" but honestly it is working out beautifully!! I work 20 hours per week (any hours I want) from home as a virtual health care recruiter. I recruit in Chicago and Kansas City and I absolutely love it and the girls are old enough now that they can color or play right next to me while I work without any problems. It has required me to get up way too early in order to get school done and regular chores finished but it's all working out. I start my day with the Lord and it truly helps me throughout the day. What would we do without Him??? It also feels good to contribute to the family income especially when the way grocery/gas prices are rising and it's also nice to build our savings for the future. (Maybe for a trip across the world again??????) =) • Linzhi Rose was scheduled to have a muscle transfer on April 27th but yesterday we received a call from the doctors office letting us know we were bumped to June 8th due to her doctor being out on emergency medical leave. We are concerned for her Dr. ,he's a great guy and we wish him well with lots of prayers. I'll keep you all posted if we're bumped again. • CJ is putting together a team of guys to go back to China in October for another mission trip delivering bibles across the border. I am so proud of my husband, I love that his heart is for the Lord and his passion for getting bibles into the hands of all those precious Chinese souls. He'll be gone 10 days so I booked a little getaway for all the kids and me to spend a few days in a quaint little town a few hours away. We plan on doing lots of fun "fallish" things and just hanging out together. I booked a double room at a cute B&B that CJ and I stay in when we go, so it will be a lot of fun. Although,I am going to miss my CJ because that's our special place. • Madelyn is doing very well. I find it's like peeling an onion, there are so many layers to her and little by little she is letting us in to her life in China with her China mom and dad. We have shed many many tears together which is healing for her but heartbreaking to watch. She talks of fondness but there's sadness in her eyes. Madelyn has a deep soul, lots of stuff she's figuring out. One thing that is just so amazing is her passion for Jesus! She just loves her bilingual bible which gave her a good understanding but she wants more! She is such a sponge and can't wait to learn more. It really is amazing to see how her relationship with the Lord is just blossoming. • Rachel Catherine is such a great girl. I just love how she can recite Psalm 23 so beautifully. All three girls can which is so precious. Rachel recites it like she's talking right to Jesus which I'm sure He hears. I also notice that lately Rachel is very interested in the life of Jesus on earth, Crucifixion and Resurrection and asks me questions all the time. Some I can answer, some we look up in the bible and some just can't be answered. Like Madelyn, she accepts Jesus with open arms. • Linzhi Rose, my little peanut...My sweet little Rose that has been given the gift of a servants heart. She has a little trouble saying her "r's" so when she recites Psalm 23, I know the Lord just smiles at how cute she is, I know I do. Linzhi truly is my child that strives to be obedient, the other too try but don't put as much effort into it (ha ha), with Linzhi she is my helper girl, my shadow for the most part. I notice at times she can be hard on herself if she makes a mistake so I'm working with her on that daily. Madelyn is the same way but I'll post about that later. Linzhi has really impressed me this first year of school. She is really a bright girl and loves her Jesus and we love her so very much. • My Trevor. My adult child. How can it be??? Oh my, so many changes coming for him. College!! We all decided on community college for the first 2 years which I think is in his comfort zone and I am happy he's not leaving just yet but I have pulled back on "mothering" him so much and it's nice to see that he's doing just fine without my input all the time (sniff sniff) I don't wake him up for church and haven't for over a year but he manages to get there...late...but he's there and that makes us very proud. Well, there is so much more to talk about and I do want to keep the blog going, I love looking back on all the memories. So I will be back soon and next time with pictures!! God bless!

Cross and stitch

We have a little bit of cabin fever here in our house. We leave for Disney World in exactly 3 weeks so the girls are just beside themselves with excitement, not to mention Miss Linzhi turns 6 in two weeks! Even with all the upcoming events, we are climbing the walls. School is keeping us very busy and I've been adding in a few field trips here and there to switch up our days plus we have gymnastics and dance once a week, so we're not complaining, we're just missing the sun and outside play. So, I've been trying to think up a winter activity that could keep them busy in the evenings and off their DS (very limited). I wanted to find something that they all could do on their own but the same project so I felt a little too ambitious and dug out my sewing box and an old sheet and proudly proclaimed "mama's gonna show you how to make homemade baby dolls!" Ok, if you know me, you know I can cook up a storm, plan and host great parties, and even a few more things here and there but the Lord did not bless me with the gift of anything to do with threading a needle or running a sewing machine! I tried, I really did. I have a bloody thumb to prove it! The girls were not that impressed with their super mama (ha ha), in fact, I think they saw a side of me that maybe shocked them.. I.GAVE.UP! Yep, I told them I was so sorry to disappoint but I have a plan and it involves getting your new cowboy boots on ($6 bucks at Target and all three got a pair-whoo hoo) and going to Hobby Lobby!! They shouted for joy and off we went, even with daddy in tow. CJ and I were reminiscing of years gone by when we both did "latch hook" projects so we thought that would be a great way to start. Once we got there, it was apparent it was too much of a project to start with and the girls didn't seem too interested (darn for me, I wanted to get my old latch out) however, we did find some awesome "starter" cross stitch kits and we grabbed all of them plus, they we're 30% off!! We hit it big so we couldn't wait to get home...Well, after we walked around for almost an hour. =)

Enjoy the pics! God bless!



Miss Linzhi taking a break to look up at mama.
Rachel covering up her cross stitch because she's not finished yet and doesn't want anyone to see it (except me, cuz I'm her helper) =)

Madelyn proudly displaying what she has accomplished thus far.

Madelyn is very detailed and a bit of a perfectionist (except in keeping her room clean).

Rachel getting the hang of it!

Look at this girl! This is the same little girl we were told would NEVER be an independent child. Our response, "never put a limit on any child" and she proves this to us every.single.day!

Trevor

Today, my baby turned 18. It was bittersweet. I miss the little guy that would crawl on my lap and show me his stories and drawings however, I'm also so happy to have this "big" guy in my life too! I love our long conversations that go into the wee hours of the night and I love to watch him grow more and more into his walk with the Lord. I am so proud to call him my son and I am looking forward to watching him grow into adulthood. He will always be my first baby!

Love you Trevor!!

WOW! Happy New year to all of you! We had such a wonderful, blessed Christmas season this year! It was especially joyful now that our little bird (Madelyn) is in the nest. I remember last Christmas, our home was packed up and ready to be moved into our new home and we were still waiting to hear from USCIS on whether or not we could move forward with our adoption for Mady... And look now! Unpacked and loving life with my hubs and 4 babes! Things have slowed down for a bit which has been lovely but we are all ready to get back into our school routine which starts back up on Tuesday. Although, we have stopped most of our school work, CJ and I have been reading so they don't fall backwards, especially Madelyn since she is doing so beautifully! Rachel Cate reads very well and Linzhi is starting to read short sentences, as a matter of fact, tonight she read an entire page from her K-beginner book! Madelyn continues to read her Mandarin books as well as her English reader books, we told her she needs to keep learning Mandarin AND English and she agreed that she would like to speak and read both languages! I LOVE IT! She is teaching her sisters and mama a little too. So here's a little update on the kiddies...

Trevor- My eldest child will be 18 on the 12th of this month, I am excited for him but at the same time shocked at how fast the time went and how much I miss that little guy that was my shadow for so many years, just the two of us. He has grown into a wonderful, Godly young man and we are both so very proud of him! He loves his job and is having a great time with his friends. We'll be meeting at the local community college to discuss next year and then in no time he will be off to college. He chose to start at the community college and live at home for 2 more years and then he would like to transfer to Columbia College, downtown Chicago which isn't too far from me...sniff sniff... I also have a sense of accomplishment that we now have one child raised. I was a young mama when he came into my life and the odds were against me God gave me what I needed to raise him to the best of my abilities with mistakes along the way :) The night before I delivered him, I made a promise to him that not one day would go by without him knowing how much I love him and without a doubt I have told that child everyday how much I love him, some days he would brush me off but now I think he gets it. I will never stop.

Madelyn- Oh where to start with this girl. Everyday we learn more and more about her life in China, she is an open book and LOVES to tell us everything about her China mom and dad and we LOVE listening to her, she's lived a fascinating life before her move to the West. I just eat it up, so does CJ. Little girls are talkers and this one tops them all! We continue to pray for her China mom and dad and since she knows more English and can understand us better we made sure she knew we want her to continue to love and think of them as her parents along with us. It seems once she understood we don't want her to forget her past or that we didn't want to know about her life in China that on the contrary we wanted all her memories to stay alive AND the love for the people she left behind, she became an open book AND her grieving stopped! Don't get me wrong, she cries at the drop of a hat but it's because of an argument or she's extra tired but honestly every time I ask her if she's missing China she tells me "No, but I go back one day to Wuhan and cuz I happy with you" My cup over flows...

Rachel Cate- Oh this baby girl, she is daily reminding me of how alike we are! I have alittle history buff on my hands and I'm LOVING it!!! We are now hooked on a TV show called "If walls could talk" it's on HGTV, we DVR all the episodes and watch them together. It's our special thing together and just having her with me, just us is a precious time for me because she's always on the move! Rachel continues to amaze me at how willing she is to help her sisters that need some extra care once in awhile. CJ and I are very careful that she doesn't get burdened but honestly we feel this is something between the Lord and Rachel. She has been given a heart of compassion for those that have some struggles and it melts my heart to see her blossom into a wonderful sister. (She is also the ringleader in much of the mischief around here too...LOL)

Linzhi Rose-my baby. She is our youngest and that fits her just fine! This little teeny tiny girl has such a BIG heart. I always tell her that she has been given a servants heart and that it is a spiritual gift from God. She always smiles and says "I like to help God" (oh my heart). Linzhi is my shadow, no doubt! Where I am, she is. The other day I was cleaning upstairs and noticed my shadow wasn't with me, all the way down the hall I saw her walk from my room to her room, I asked her what she was doing and she replied "Looking for you!" Where did you go??? This coming from the little girl that didn't want much to do with me when she was placed in my arms at three years old and now to a little girl that has to have her mama within an ear shot....AMEN is all I can say, thank you Jesus! Linzhi Rose has a big year ahead of her, she will be having the first of several surgeries coming up in the spring. We are excited and scared all at the same time so I will be updating on the blog when we get a more information. I will be calling out to my prayer warriors.

CJ and I feel overly blessed to have so many wonderful blessings in our children and our family and friends. Life can be interesting and scary sometimes but it's such a security to know Jesus has all of our backs...All of us! Many this year bring you closer to the Lord and Saviour Jesus!

Here are some pics, not all in order but I wrote captions...



Christmas Eve at Grandma Nessa and Grandpa John's
"Elf Madelyn" making Christmas presents for her family. ( I was Mrs. Claus and CJ was Santa-all week long...LOVED IT!)

"Elf Linzhi" She was really happy, promise!

"Elf Rachel" putting in overtime at the workshop!

My little bro Sean...Lovingly called Seany by all. =)

Linzhi Rose loving her dolphin pillow pet, the only thing she wanted! I asked for what she would like for her upcoming birthday and her reply "Another dolphin pillow pet" =)

Miss Mady and Rachel Cate on Christmas morning.

group shot!

Mama helping Lu Belle with her gifts.

Sage, Rachel and Madelyn

Christmas morning!

Opening up presents from big bro.

This is a true expression from Rachel. Her DSI was stolen from her over the summer and she knew it was expensive so she asked for a new one at Christmas. I kept telling her, I don't know, it's a lot of money... She was truly surprised, just liked we wanted it to be. =)

Again, more excitement and more to come because Madelyn was opening us her DS. Linzhi Rose still has her DSI from the summer but really all she wanted was that pillow pet!

And the pillow pet is opened!

We had many activities this Christmas season and one that we look forward to is the dance recital. Our girls attend a Christian dance studio so the entire show was to celebrate Jesus! Look at Madelyn, she was nervous! There were over 200 people in attendance but once she was on stage, she and Linzhi did great! Rachel is in a different class this year.

Rachel posing before her acrobat show.

Waiting for Rachel to come on stage.

Madelyn loved every minute for the three hour recital. Notice the look on her face...How do you spell relief??? My. dance. is. over!

Trevor loving the recital...maybe not all of it! He's a trooper!

catching up!

We had a wonderful Christmas with our family and friends! My plan is to work on a catch up post with pictures reflecting all the recent activities. Stay tuned.... ;)