My blessings...

Our valentine

2012-02-13T22:42:00.000-06:00

On Valentine's day in 2005, God blessed us with a precious gift we didn't even know existed. In a little box was a darling newborn baby girl named Xiao Li. She was tightly wrapped in a yellow blanket and safety placed in the stairwell of a local hospital. That was the last day her birth family held her...On Valentine's day, 2005. I always think of them on this day and how hard it was to leave their baby girl. I cannot imagine their loss, how they will grieve her the rest of their lives. I pray the orphanage some how got word to them that their baby girl no longer lays in a crib 18 hours a day that her forever family came for her, to love forever, as they do... I hope they know.

That baby girl is Linzhi Rose. I haven't shared with Linzhi this part of her life in China, we know she's too little to understand and she breaks SO easy...So in time, her time, we will tell her the story of Valentine's day, 2005 when she made an incredible journey from daughter to orphan until November, 2007 when she made yet another incredible journey from orphan to daughter-FOREVER! Oh how we LOVE that girl!

So tomorrow morning, she will wake to a red heart shaped basket full of her favorite treats, lip gloss, a pencil and a little frog and Linzhi will be thrilled as she LOVES Valentine's day and that is enough for now.

Father-Daughter dinner

2012-02-11T12:35:00.001-06:00

Our church hosted an evening for fathers and daughters. My girls (and CJ) were SO excited to attend. Before they left, I curled hair and applied a little make-up. Linzhi, my little romantic, squealed "I feel like I'm going on a date". I answered, you are! With your daddy. :) So sweet!

I dropped them off and promptly picked them up with the van nice and warm (we're finally getting some winter weather) and as we drove home, I listened to all the exciting news. It's so fun to have all these daughters as I get all the details and feel the excitement with them. Linzhi Rose was thrilled to the max as she was the winner of a $20 gift card to the movies. What a blessing for my girls to have a special night with their daddy. And CJ, well, he was so very proud of his young ladies.

What was I doing while they were gone?... SHOPPING! and loving every stinkin minute of it!

Have a blessed weekend!

Gus

2012-02-06T21:46:00.000-06:00

Help friends.

This little guy needs a forever family very soon!

He is one year old, lives in China and his special need is Dwarfism. PLEASE contact http://www.lifelineadoption.org/ if you are interested in learning more about Gus. Be still my heart!

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ~ John 14:18

Nemours WREX Robotic Device Helps Children Reach Higher

2012-01-31T21:17:00.001-06:00

This is a video of WREX. Linzhi will be getting her WREX very soon. If you have a child that could benefit from this miracle, at the end of the video is contact information. That's all I did to get Linzhi in the study.

Sweet Pea turns 7 and WREX!

2012-01-31T12:34:00.001-06:00

Oh this child has captured my heart! Linzhi exudes happiness and joy. She is never ever one to complain and like I have mentioned before, works SO HARD for everything! Although, her mama and dad and siblings are always there to feed her and assist her...However, Linzhi is growing up and she desires to do things on her own and she usually figures it out and does it her way. :) Linzhi has had a challenging year in 2011. Her surgery was brutal but she has come out of it so much stronger and her little arm is finally on the mend. We have had a recent blessing as Linzhi will be given a new device called WREX. WREX is basically robotic arms that she will be able to put on when needed for feeding, dressing, combing her hair, etc... She is joining a study out of AI Dupont Children's Hospital in Wilmington, Delaware. As I type, they are working on making her a set to fit her measurements, when they are finished, we are headed to Delaware to have a custom back brace made to attach the arms to so she can be mobile with WREX. To say this is a miracle, a HUGE answered prayer for CJ and I would be an understatement. This is by the mighty hand of the Lord and no other! Since Linzhi is in the study we pay NOTHING for WREX...NOTHING! And since we are in the middle of our third adoption in the last four years, you cannot imagine how awesome this is for our family! I cannot tell you how many nights I have laid in bed talking with the Lord asking Him to reveal to us how to help her when she is older and wants to live independent of her parents... My thoughts would terrify me as I wondered, who will feed, clothe, prepare her food, brush her hair, help her bathe, use a spoon, drive a car...you name it, I worried about it and I know the Lord heard my pleas and I know He loves her more than I but I still needed to know how Lord? And to have WREX come along at a time when Linzhi would appreciate it and she is old enough to see the benefits of it...Well...It's just God's perfect timing again! I am looking forward to posting more about WREX, our trip to Delaware and the opportunities that lie ahead for our Linzhi. I am still just simply amazed at the works of our Lord!

Little surprises in my inbox

2012-01-24T22:35:00.001-06:00

So I sent one final cake and teddy bear to little miss and what a surprise to get these sweet pictures of our girl. To think the next picture I post of Gracie will be from MY camera!!! The quality of these are not that good but we'll take 'em.

God bless and please keep our little one in your prayers. <><

This child of mine.

2012-01-18T00:43:00.001-06:00

I was scrolling through recent pictures and I came across this picture of my Linzhi Rose. Linzhi is my shadow. As I do my "stuff" during the day, she is never far from me...We talk and talk and laugh and at times shed tears. Linzhi is very sensitive, honest, hard working and loves to help. I always tell her "the Lord blessed you with a servants heart". I know she will she will do wonderful things in her life. She LOVES Jesus and praises Him throughout the day. When I look at her, I see how she is blossoming into a young lady and I often think back to November 19th, 2007 when this little angel baby was placed in my arms. The room was dark and damp but the minute she entered the room, I forgot where I was. I still remember the scent of her little black head and how curious she was with CJ and me. I sometimes wish I could go back for just a minute. Linzhi Rose has always been the baby for the family which has fit her in so many ways. She is TEENY TINY for one!!! I imagine her birth mother to be very petite and beautiful. Linzhi is stunning! But you see, my baby girl is going to be a big sister very soon and as happy as I am for Linzhi that she will finally be able to have a little sister, part of me just can't make the transition. In time....right? :)

Enjoy these lovely pictures of my baby girl.

LOA!!!!!!

2012-01-11T09:49:00.000-06:00

PRAISE JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

We got our email today...Day 55!

China bound in 8 to 12 weeks!!!

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

2012-01-10T15:17:00.000-06:00

Oh my heart is just breaking. I have been following a blog of a sweet family that has lots of little girls from China. Their little Teresa has a serious heart condition and has taken a turn for the worst. Reading her mama's words today on her post broke my heart open and rattled me to my bones. Her wishes and hopes for her baby's heart are so familiar to me.

PLEASE PRAY on bended knees for little Teresa and her family as they are faced with so many uncertainties.

To God be the GLORY!

Arthrogryposis

2012-01-07T22:24:00.000-06:00

Arthrogryposis is very unique as it effects each person with the condition differently. As many know, I have two daughters with AMC so this condition touches my heart in so many ways.

Madelyn went to see Dr.Sullivan at the University of Chicago. He is amazing and we are just so happy to have him look after our girl. Madelyn did not want to see a doctor for the longest time but as she is now more active, she is experiencing more pain in her lower extremities. She walks with a noticeable limb and when she runs, her little leg swings out and thumps to the ground (ouch). When she is tired, she falls...Hard. I am very grateful my daughter can walk and run as I know many people with AMC cannot. So when Madelyn came to us and asked to go to the doctor, I was thrilled! We decided not to push her into getting evaluated, we really wanted her to feel safe and bonded with us first and now that she's comfortable enough in her new home life...off we went this past Friday to see Dr. S. It's nice to go to a place where doctors and nurses know you and show a sincere interested in your children. We visited with his nurse and then met with the resident for awhile, then Dr. S. came in and he could not tell me enough how "impressed" he is with her abilities. I gave all the praises to Madelyn's foster mama and baba because they WORKED on miss Mady from age 2 until we came 7 years later. She was massaged, stretched and had acupuncture and the hard work paid off! NO SURGERY! Dr. S. wants her to get into some special leg braces which will help her walk, run, ride her bike without as much fatigue. When Madelyn and I prayed in the car before going in, we asked for a blessing and GOD knocked it out of the park!!!

Linzhi Rose- my sweet angel that works SO HARD everyday to get her muscle stronger and stronger. Linzhi will get there, I know it! She has a wonderful caretaker in Dr. Mass. He is so interested in her. The last time we were there, he brought a resident in to show Linzhi off. He told the resident, "This little girl is going to do big things". I get tears in my eyes thinking about that moment. I was reminder by Dr. Mass that Linzhi's road is long but we will get there and I believe it. We are always brainstorming new ways to get dressed, eat, etc...just normal things that people without AMC or other conditions that limit mobility don't have to think about. I love her strength, I love her will and I love how the Lord made our girls (and Trev, Rachel and Gracie) so perfectly!!!

Rachel- having two sisters with physical disabilities can mean mama may need some extra help when were on outings together without dad or Trevor. Rachel is an expert in AMC. She knows what the girls need sometimes before THEY do. Most of the time, she is loving and caring but there are moments when she's not interested and that's ok too (this is very rare). However, Madelyn and Linzhi help Rachel is areas that she struggles in as well. Rachel is terribly afraid of the dark and relies on her sisters to help her with this issue almost daily. When Rachel needs help in Math and I'm working with Linzhi, Madelyn steps in or when Rachel has a neck ache, Linzhi Rose is quick to give her a rub "Linzhi style"

All of my children have special needs, some we can see and some we cannot but they're there. I'm full of special needs!!!! See, we all need each other to get through this life. AMC is such a blessing to this family. We have met some really awesome people through this journey and I would not change a thing! I'm sure we'll be blessed with Gracie's CHD as well...I can't wait to find out!

Oh, by the way, it's day 52 waiting for LOA...It's coming...I can feel it!!! :):)

Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My Gracie

2011-12-27T11:19:00.000-06:00

I'm not going to lie, these pictures are very hard for me. The walls are full of mold and I'm sure lead paint. Her bed has some kind of stains on it and she has no smile. I opened my email this morning and my heart skipped a beat when I saw I had new pictures. My heart sank when I looked at them. In all of this, I see on her bed the little panda bear we sent her a few months back and my sweet little gracie covered her baby with a blanket. I see a little girl that loves her panda. I see in her eyes fear and sadness. But I also see that panda must give her joy and I'll hold that in my heart.

Today is day 39 of waiting for our LOA (China has up to 100+ days to issue our approval), We have never waited more than 54 days but that means nothing. It's up to Jesus.

My heart is heavy, I want my baby home. She needs her mama and daddy.

Please pray for her. Please pray her heart and lungs are not damaged due to the mold and poor quality of air she's breathing.

I know her Abba Father is with her, I feel it deep in my soul.

Praise be to God!

My Kidsin pictures (missing Trevor-boo hiss)

2011-12-23T19:15:00.000-06:00

I could not locate my USB cord forever...Well it was right under my nose the entire time. Here are my littles...missing my Trevor, he seems to be gone so much with work and school...sigh.

Madelyn and Rachel getting ready to play in the little bit of snow we got a few weeks ago.

All three girls with Buster

Warming up with hot chocolate and cookies.

She looks so grown up in this picture!

Rachel Cate

Linzhi lost her very first tooth. Snapped this pic after she stopped crying...LOL...

Getting ready to pray before board breaking class. This is the only picture of Linzhi as it got a bit too overwhelming for her with all the extra people there to watch. She stayed with mama.

Rachel getting ready!

CRACK!

Madelyn breaking her board with a kick.

board #2

Getting ready to go to Church for the Christmas program.

My baby

My big girl.

Mady

Rachel Cate asking me not to take her picture.

I love this face.

The big girls were not ready but I snapped a picture anyway.

Being goof balls

Rachel and her baby

Madelyn lovin Buster

Decorating cookies.

taste testing the cookies.

working hard...in her PJ's

May God bless you all during this PRECIOUS time of year as we prepare for the birthday of our Lord Jesus!!!!

When you get all twisted up with anxiety and junk...

2011-12-13T22:11:00.000-06:00

I tend to lean on Jesus.

Lately, there a some major things that are going to take place that are still in the "pending" folder and for me, someone that had to be broken of being impatient (I still struggle some days)...Well, it's starting to get on my last nerve!!! :) *sigh*

First, I want my baby bird in my nest, like NOW. I want to nourish her little body with healthy cooking and lots of vitamins. I want to snuggle with her (if she'll let me), I want to brush her beautiful black hair and dress her in clean, warm clothes, I want to see her little hands holding a pencil doing school work with her sisters... I can go on and on and on and on... I just want my baby home!

There are a few "Other" pending items that need to finish up so my heart can rest a bit. I feel the Holy Spirit in me, working on me, calming me down and probably wondering why I am getting myself all worked up when I KNOW, GOD is in total control of all the "pending" items in all of our folders. We must wait, have faith and total trust at all times which can be very hard for us humans. I am so grateful I can bring my heavy plate with all kinds of worries, anxieties and selfish requests to the one who will provide all that I need by His mighty hands. GOD IS SO GRACIOUS. I love him so.

*********************************************************************************

Today, as the girls were working on their math lessons, I looked around at each one of them with tears in my eyes remembering how I longed and waited for each one to arrive (Trevor too).

Trevor was the easiest child to bring into our family. Easy pregnancy, easy delivery (hurt a lot but over all good) and easy up bringing. I am so proud of him!! I was so in love with that child from the minute I looked at him. That was it, smitten for the rest of my life! After a number of years, I was convinced I would only have one child and never thought about having any more....

Until I met CJ and then...

Rachel Catherine came next, 11 years later. Oh my baby girl! CJ and I went to get our first ultra sound on a Saturday afternoon and the next day (Mother's day), we were in the ER believing I was having a miscarriage. Total shock! We were sent home with instructions and what to do in the event our baby went home to be with Jesus. I spent my mornings and afternoons alone, praying and waiting, praying and waiting for a miracle. When CJ came home, we were almost too scared to talk about it and every night as I went to sleep, I asked the Lord to spare my baby's life. And He did. Oh what a treasure that stinker is to us! And she is a stinker, a lot like her mama. One word to sum up Rachel is, Joy!

Linzhi Rose came 4 years after Rachel. In fact, on Rachel's 4th birthday CJ and I were on a plane to Beijing. I think I cried the entire way because I could barely leave my little girl on her birthday. Luckily, Rachel had no idea as we celebrated a few days before. -Anyway- Linzhi Rose was an angel from day one. As we watched this tiny little China doll grieve for her life in the orphanage, my life changed. I had to learn how to mother a child that was not born from my womb. I had to "learn" her, because had her own way of living without me and didn't really need a mama. She just kind of did it on her own. She LOVED CJ from the first Ni hao, but me...not so much. She liked me and I loved her but it took us a little while to figure each other out. Fast forward to now. I look at her and cannot imagine my life without my little shadow. She is always within a few steps from me, she loves to help with anything and tries so very hard at getting things just right. My angel baby with a servants heart.

Madelyn Grace, Oh my, did we work hard to get this child out of the life of an orphan. The enemy had a tight grip and was giving us a run for the money....Oh yeah.... he lost. God's hands unlocked the chains around her neck and released her into freedom on July 19th, 2011. 19 months from the first time I saw her round, rosy cheeks. When I walked into the office in Wuhan, China I felt complete victory! As I was crumbling with tears of joy, Miss Madelyn walked right up to me and said "Ni Hao" and it felt like I was in a dream, it was SO surreal to see her face to face. I just could not take my eyes off of her, she was so pretty and self confident but still a little vulnerable when our eyes met. She would look away real fast and I would follow her lead. I never wanted her to feel uncomfortable so I let her take the lead on how much space she needed and when I was allowed in. On a funny note, now that she speaks fluent English, I asked her what she thought of us when she saw us walk in the door... Here's her response... Trevor, was tall and looked like a big brother. Daddy, he looked nice and Mom, you had on a lot of make-up!!! Oh that girl! She's getting to the age where she's testing me a bit. I know it's totally normal for a 10 year old to think they know it all...she takes after her brother for sure!

I'm sharing this not just to share it but to remind myself to STOP and remember the perfectness of His timing and the lessons and wisdom that comes from patience. I must be obedient and remember His way is the only right way for our lives. <><

So I choose to just lean on Jesus and I can feel His hand pulling me out of the murky black waters again...

Thank you JESUS CHRIST for saving me again from myself.

I will humbly and patiently wait for you. <><

My heart.

2011-11-27T16:45:00.000-06:00

I have written this post in my head for the last three days and for some reason as I try and type it, I have writers block. So I'll try again.

If you know me or my family you know we're adopting for the third time from China. I love China! I really can't wait to be there again very soon with CJ and Rachel. I can't wait to be among my daughters people, culture and history. The adventurous side of me is ready to get our bags packed (I'm type A so I enjoy the lists and organization of packing...I know, I'm a nut). I can't wait for take off and ascending into China for the third time. But...

Then I stop and think about it a bit more. This is not a vacation. This is another life changing journey for our family and a little six year old girl.

There have been days that I have been in prayer asking the Lord why He is sending me? I know CJ is right there with me and he can hardly contain his excitement but I am not there with him. I am going to be real honest here. I've had my moments of complete fear. Fear I have never experienced. With my fear comes many tears. Every time I am physically alone with no little one, husband or son around me, I find myself almost childlike going to my Father in tears asking why are you sending me? I am too afraid Lord! I am too comfortable in my life. We just went through this transition with Madelyn and now we are settled again and you're asking us to go again? But then I think about the One calling us to be His hands and feet and through many tears and my GAZILLION fears, I answer.

Yes, my precious Lord.

We will go.

When Gracie drifted into my life, I knew I was looking at my daughter. CJ very quickly agreed and we started all the necessary paperwork and excitement filled our home with Praise and we were humbled to be called again. We had a little bio on her, she has CHD (congenital heart defect), she looked good and in the video we could hear a cough but we chalked it up to a cold or something...

Then we got the report back from the Drs. in the US and one in particular asked us if we were for sure she was still alive. huh? what do you mean alive? The second Dr. didn't say that but told us she has a serious heart problem and will require a lot of work and called her a "flight" risk. Huh? Flight risk?

I stopped dead in my tracks and said NO Lord, not us, PLEASE not us. PLEASE! I CANNOT DO THIS. I CANNOT BURY A CHILD. PLEASE! (Ye of little faith I was that day).

CJ came home and I told him very matter of fact what I had learned about her that day and I knew for sure CJ would back me and say no. This is too big for us. I KNEW he would back me and agree. I just knew His heart.

I was wrong.

My sweet husband told me very gently.

Amy, we can't leave her there. She has to come home with us.

Huh? Home with us? What?

My response.

Um, ok... Yep, that's all I could intelligently come up with. Um!?!?

Do you ever feel like Peter when He saw the Lord walking on the water and even though he was terrified he stepped out of the boat and started to walk on the water to Jesus and then when he realized WHAT he was doing started to panic and began to drown.

But then Jesus reached out and saved him.

Do you ever feel super powered by worship and prayer and feel like you can do anything though Christ that strengthens you? (because we can)

But then when He calls you to do something that requires YOU to step out of the boat and onto the water of waves and storms to follow Him, do you ever lose that strength and begin to drown in fear?

But then Jesus comes and reaches down into the black water and saves us. (over and over again).

That's where I've been for the last 6 months. I keep stepping in and out of the boat. I get all pumped up talking about her with family and friends and I love getting things ready for her here at home but then the enemy comes and trips me and I fall into the black water drowning in fear.

It's been a constant battle and SO not like me at all!

Until last Saturday night at church during praise and worship.

We sang this song, I have no idea what the name is, I've heard it 100 times on the radio but I never paid that much attention to the lyrics. It's goes like this...

Who YOU love, I'll love.
How YOU serve, I'll serve.
If this life I lose.
I will follow YOU.

And just like that, I felt the hand of Jesus pull me out of the black mucky water I was drowning in.

Just like that.

My baby is coming home and this mama has her spirit of excitement back and her strong will that was planted in me from the time I was conceived has returned and I am ready to go and serve Gracie in any way that she needs.

Will I stumble.

Yes.

Will the fear return.

Yes.

Will I cry when I leave three of my children behind to gather my little daughter from the East.

A lot.

Will I open my heart and soul to another treasure and LOVE her because He loves.

Of course, I will.

I also want to share our thoughts about Gracie's heart. This little miracle has survived for 6 years on this earth with a "broken" heart with no repairs so far. A pediatric cardiologists nurse told me our little girl is a walking Miracle and SOMETHING is keep her alive. Well, as believers we know God is keeping her alive. We also believe He will heal her. We're not sure how or if it's already done but we know He is in control. We believe He will lead us to the right cardiologist and Trust Him to lead us as we travel this road. It's hard to give up that control (for me). I feel like I am now a cardiologist as I have read SO much on her condition...Haha...

This is what I know for sure. Gracie was fearfully and wonderfully made by the Hands of God. As His servants CJ and I will rely on Him to guide us as to how to care for His treasure. We are not in denial. She will be healed. Here on earth or Jesus will come to bring her home. Our prayer is for her life to be a testimony for other families or children that suffer from her heart condition or whatever the Lords will is for her life. Our prayer is for our little flower to blossom in our arms for however long the Lord grants. And to add, we feel this way about all of our blessings...Trevor, Madelyn, Rachel and Linzhi Rose.

Please pray for Gracie. Her transition may be very hard as she has been with the same foster family for the last four years. I know this will put strain on her little body. Please ask the Lord to COVER her in His Grace.

Pray for Lots of Grace for Gracie.

God bless.

Linzhi Rose Xiao Li

2011-11-19T12:30:00.000-06:00

Four years ago today CJ and I walked in the Civil affairs office in Nanjing, China to receive a blessing designed by God. This child never ceases to amaze me! I am so blessed to be called mama by this angel on earth.

Happy 4 year forever family day!!!

Rachel Catherine

2011-11-14T22:41:00.000-06:00

Oh this child of mine, how I love her so.

Happy 8th birthday to my joy Rachel Catherine!

11-15-2003

She's a great student.. when she feels like it. :)

She's always ready with a beautiful smile.

She LOVES animals...Especially her baby tinkerbell.

A very early morning picture of mama and her baby on our way to Disney. I love her bedhead.

My baby.

Rachel's is a bit choosy of the foods she will eat but she LOVES mama's brownies!

Dear Rachel,
YOU are a treasure!
Love,
Mama

YAY!!!!!!

2011-11-10T21:59:00.000-06:00

We're DTC!!!!!!!!!
(dossier to China...one BIG step closer to our girl)!

Thank you Sweet Jesus!

Exciting news!

2011-10-18T21:42:00.000-05:00

Today marks day 53 since we sent in our I-800a application (US immigration). From time to time I would check on the status to see if I could figure out when we could expect our approval. Well.... The Lord sent me another sweet blessing today... APPROVAL!!!!!!!

We are in just complete shock! This process has gone so smooth and after the nightmare we faced getting Madelyn here, I am on bended knees giving thanks. (We gave thanks during the nightmare too).

One HUGE step closer to our baby girl. <><

Happy 6th birthday to our baby far far away...

2011-10-12T21:06:00.000-05:00

Grace turned 6 on October 3rd, the day before her daddy's 40th birthday (pics to come later). We were able to get another cake and gift to her for her special day. Our cake service said it will be awhile before we get our pictures due to the moon festival in China so I didn't expect anything until next week...

Well, I think the Lord knew this mama needed to see my baby girl and gave me a sweet blessing this morning delivered to my inbox...

Looks like she might be getting ready to blow out her candles.

My Baby girl...Look at those eyes and the little piggy tails on top of her head. **when we started this adoption, I sent a request asking them to let her hair grow (a little bolder the third time around I guess...)Well, I think they got my request and I am thankful!!!

that's a big piece of cake and I LOVE her little buddy!

Aren't they precious!!!

being goofy. We have a picture of Madelyn from China doing the same thing! LOL

Pumpkin patch!

2011-10-01T20:19:00.003-05:00

We took our annual trip to Curtis Orchard, about an hour south of our house. The weather today was simply perfect for the first day of October...56 degrees with a little breeze which made it chilly in the shade...perfection! This was the first time we went on a Saturday. There was live music, fresh kettle corn, face painting, pony rides, apple/pumpkin picking, etc... Oh how I LOVE this time of year. And next year, little Miss Gracie Faith will be in the gang too. God's blessings to all... Happy Fall!

Kettle corn!

Annual picture in front of the Emerald City!

My perfect pumpkin.

Following big brother out to the patch.

Trevor helping Linzhi Rose.

Linzhi Rose

My boy.

My loves.

Daddy helping Rachel Cate.

All finished!

determination!!!!

Taking a break in the shade.

Pony ride for Linzhi. The others decided to watch only. Rachel stated she prefers to ride horses instead. :)

waiting for Madelyn and Rachel to bounce down the inflatable slide.

My heart.

Madelyn

2011-09-25T19:44:00.000-05:00

Happy 10th birthday to our eldest daughter Madelyn. CJ and I feel so blessed to have this precious soul in our home. It's so nice to look back on her first year home but it's just as nice to have the first year over. That statement may come as a surprise but it's the truth. I love where she is now, she's more confident in her English and she's more settled in the family and best of all, her walk with Jesus grows everyday!

Thank you Lord for your gift to us.

Birthday morning! Ready to open a special gift from Rachel.

A crystal nail file. Madelyn has wanted this for awhile and Rachel remembered.

A sister hug.

Linzhi has a special gift for Madelyn too!

A beautiful snow globe.

Another sister hug!

Our 10 year old beauty.

Her special cake from mom and dad.

Her build a bear Jasmine with the build a bear cake.

Opening gifts (Mom and dad got her a shiny new bike).

I love her smile and laughter in this picture, it captures her sense of humor.

She was covered in LOVE by grandparents and extended family. Madelyn chose the menu for dinner.... Fried chicken, mom's famous spaghetti sauce, salad, pickle rolls (thank you grandma sharon), french bread and potato chips (thank you, Grandpa Bill). Thank you to everyone who sent her cards and gifts, she was blessed!!!

Another step...

2011-09-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

God is so good...All the time! With every one's work schedule or school schedule, I was praying we would be assigned to get our fingerprints completed on a Friday as it would just be perfect for our schedules. Well, He came through again. We are all scheduled for September 23rd @ 8am!!!!

One step closer to our baby girl!!! Hallelujah!!

She knows.

2011-09-05T17:04:00.003-05:00

Little miss gracie will be our third adoption in four years. I feel somewhat of a "seasoned" mother as she will be my fifth child but I know one this for sure...She knows. Gracie knows she is leaving her China family very shortly and by the look on her face she's feeling it. I know in my heart she was told because her facial expression is all too familiar...First with Linzhi, then with Madelyn. Linzhi felt the grief immediately, Madelyn covered it until we were back home. I knew Madelyn's smiles in China were covering her pain, I knew it deep in my soul. Linzhi was too little to make heads or tails of what was going on, Madelyn was almost nine and got it, quick! Linzhi's grief lasted a couple of weeks, then like all little one's they forget. Nine year olds don't forget, they carry it forever. What about a six year old? How much does she understand? Did she look at our picture and freeze? My guess, yes. I look at her face and I see it plain as day. She knows we're coming and to be real honest, when I looked at her face, I froze because it became very real to me that SHE IS COMING! When we start a new adoption, I always feel like it's so far away and I don't "plan" things in my mind. I don't often picture them in our home or prepare much because I know it's months and months away and I am not good with waiting so I trick myself into not thinking of it at all. Well, now we're getting into the second phase and the idea of Gracie is becoming more real. I am now picturing her in the house, looking through Linzhi's clothes to see what would fit little miss (we found out through the measurements, she only stands 37 inches), I am now getting her school books ready and wondering if she knows her ABC and 123's and most of all I am getting concerned for her emotional well-being. I already see it in that precious angel face. She knows. She may not understand it all but she knows something is going to change in her little world. And as her mama my heart feels it too.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Jesus, cover her in your Grace. Prepare her heart for her new life. Hide her under your wing. Cast out her anxiety and fear in your precious name. Amen!

A notice

2011-08-29T13:59:00.000-05:00

Today in the mail we got a notice from immigration that they have received our application, cashed our check and that our appointment for fingerprints will be coming soon. Many of you know when we adopted Madelyn this is when all kinds of "issues" started to take place. If you would like to read what happened, please go to the archives under "documenting our miracle" to get caught up.

I feel very calm this time. I know it is not up to any country, government office, USC!$ officer or the enemy to decide whether or not we are blessed to call Gracie Faith our daughter. It is up to our Heavenly Father and IF it's His will, we will get our approval from immigration, DTC, LID, LOA and TA (all those lovely steps before we can travel). What I learned through our spiritual growth during Madelyn's adoption is that NOTHING stops God from His plan and that we must be patient and wait upon Him for time and direction, not just through adoption but LIFE. For me, this proves to be difficult as I look at my daughters face everyday and want her home, like yesterday!!! :)

My heart jumped today when I saw that envelope in the mailbox... I felt some fear (a bit), excitement (lots), butterflies (a million)...Because as of today, we are one step, one more day checked off and one less hour away from having her placed in my arms. <><

First day of school!

2011-08-23T10:27:00.000-05:00

Another wonderful year of homeschool started yesterday. I am just so thankful for the opportunity I get to be with my children. I am going to be real honest here...It requires much Grace from the Lord above as this mama tends to need it in the patience department at times. Still, I would not trade it for the world! Madelyn blew me away yesterday with her reading skills, what a difference one year makes!! August 2010 proved to be a challenge as I had to bring google translate everywhere just so my peanut could get some idea what we were doing and let me tell you she has worked very hard to learn English. I love Language arts but there are SO many contradictions and for Madelyn to learn all that she has in a mere 12 months...Well, let me say CJ and I are very impressed with our eldest daughter.

Trevor left for his first day of Jr. college, thanking God he's under my roof for one more year! Next year...well, I can't say much about that yet as my heart won't allow.

My free spirit child Rachel Catherine likes the idea of school but sitting at her desk and doing it can be a bit of a challenge for my on the go girl. Rachel is such a big helper to me and her sisters, she just doesn't think school should be more than 30 minutes...LOL... :)

Oh my Linzhi Rose, she is a wiz in math and phonics and loves bible but Linzhi feels school should be "just crafts". I laugh because I can see how different they all are and I know their strengths and where they struggle and it melts my heart to know I am the one learning about my children everyday in our little school room on the west side of our cozy home.

God bless!

First day of class with her baby "Jasmine"

My free spirit girly that came to school with hair unkept and her Jamacian baby.

Linzhi Rose trying not to laugh while I take her picture with her baby "Ice Cream"

First born on his way out the door to KCC

working hard in spelling/vocab

working just as hard in spelling/vocab

Linzhi Rose LOVES bible class

A note from daddy!

Look who was in my inbox...

2011-08-22T08:15:00.001-05:00

Last night as CJ and I prayed, I asked the Lord for a glimpse of our little one that is so far away from her mama's arms. I love it when the Lord reveals himself and how much he loves all of us. I think he knew we needed this little blessing. The pictures are poor quality but we were able to enlarge them and look her face over for any bluish coloring and I gotta say...She looks really good and pink all over! We are in deep prayer for complete healing either by His hands or by Him working through the hands of physicians of His choosing...Either way, I feel so much more connected to this precious little soul. She looks scared and probably not sure what the heck is going on. I sent a picture and a card of our family so I'm not sure they told her we were coming for her??? Madelyn told us she knew for a long time we were coming, then she said "it took you forever to get here"...That's my very Chinese girl!! :)

Anyway, we are just on cloud nine in love with her. I can't wait to show the girls and Trevor when they get up.

Today is our first day of school. I'll post pictures later...for now, ENJOY my baby Gracie!

ps...my spell check is not working, please forgive any typos. I haven't had my coffee yet. :)

CJ and I think she looks so sad. She probably has no idea what is going on. :(

I just want to pick her up and bring her home. My poor baby girl. I'm also wondering if she was told she's going to be adopted?

This must be her foster family and maybe some neighbors. I can't help but look at the background and seeing where she comes from.

HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE!

2011-08-21T15:15:00.001-05:00

WOW is the Lord amazing or what???? That urgent prayer request I posted about the other day has brought me to tears as I watched the Lord unfold HIS plan through the prayers of HIS people. Precious Lilliana not only had her ransom money raised in a matter of 2 days ($23,000) but her forever family has come forward too!!! Very soon she will be ONE LESS orphan in this world.

PRAISE YOU JESUS FOR ALL YOU DO!!!

Here's little peanut...Remember she is 11 years old.

Keep praying folks...Pray the Lord moves those mountains so her family can get there ASAP!!

Another URGENT prayer request

2011-08-18T20:45:00.000-05:00

Just perusing my favorite blogs this evening and came across this URGENT plea to save this sweet angel Lilliana. PLEASE GO HERE AND GIVE WHATEVER YOU CAN TO SAVE THIS 11 YEAR OLD GIRL.

www.nogreaterjoymom.com

Oh my heart...Jesus hear our prayers.

Prayer Request

2011-08-18T17:28:00.000-05:00

I believe in the power of prayer. CJ and I are asking if you think of us to please prayer for our application that is being sent out tomorrow to USC!$. This is our last bit of paperwork on the US side, then our documents are sent to Ch!na... Every step is one step closer to our girl.

As many of you know, when we applied back in 2009 to bring Madelyn home, this was the beginning of a mighty spiritual battle. The enemy did not want Madelyn to be one less orphan. Of course, GOD won that battle!!! Hallelujah Jesus!!!

So here we go again... Please pray with us!!

God bless you all!

Catching up!

2011-08-17T12:25:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe we are already in the middle of August! We start our second year of homeschool on August 22nd and let me tell you, we are all ready...even my Rachel Cate! We have moved our classroom to Trevor's former office as he is heading to junior college in a couple of weeks and won't be needing it. I must say, it's bittersweet as I will miss him during the day. Talking about Trevor, I have some wonderful news!!! Trevor was accepted into Columbia College at Chicago for the fall of 2012!! CJ and I are so proud of him and excited for this opportunity. I will miss him so much but I know my eldest bird must leave the nest at some point and I'm thanking God he is only an hour away! Trevor continues to work at the Karate studio which is a great job with good pay and to top it off the girls are now attending classes there too. It's nice to see how awesome Trevor is with the parents and his duties at work, it really makes his mama proud.

Miss Madelyn has been with her forever family for over one year now!!! I cannot believe how fast this first year went by. We celebrated by having a wonderful Chinese dinner followed by a movie and mama's brownies with ice cream. We are so blessed to have this angel in our family, I thank God every day for her! Madelyn continues to make excellent progress in her English skills and maintaining her Mandarin. Now that she is comfortable with us, I am seeing more and more of her personality and I can see how advanced she is for her age in maturity. God knew what he was doing by placing her as the BIG sister in our family, she is very good at her job and at times mama and dad have to remind her we are the parents and she's the sister...LOL... it's too funny but she is very "in charge" at times and I know it's from the culture she was raised, we celebrate her independence but at the same time we encourage her to stay a kid for just a but longer. :)

Miss Rachel Cate is growing like a leaf and has mastered swimming this summer. She is a fish, just like her daddy!!! Rachel will be traveling with us to China when get the TA (travel approval) from God to get our Gracie Faith. I am so excited to bring her as she is my child that has the most anxiety when we're apart. I seem to worry about her the most because Linzhi just seems to go with it and doesn't seem to get too upset for too long and Madelyn has already stated she will be "just fine" and she will "babysit" Linzhi...That's my girl! We are also thrilled to show her where all her sisters come from and the opportunity to be apart of the Chinese culture if only for a couple of weeks. Rachel has a tender heart and it breaks easily for those who are the lest of these so I know it will be emotional for her at times but I also think she will be able to witness first hand the miracle of adoption and how Graceful the Lord is in times of unknowns. Plus, she'll be an excellent playmate for Miss Gracie Faith.

Oh my, Linzhi Rose...She has been to heck and back as she continues to recover from surgery. I must say at first, she did not want anything to do with therapy once her cast was off but little by little my courageous Linzhi came out of her shell and now...Look out! We do therapy everyday and once a week with her OT (just to make sure we're on target). Praise God, her muscle is pumping that arm up and down, we are getting there, it's coming and we are just so happy to see our little peanut working towards a more independent future! Having two kiddos with arthrogryposis can make our hearts break into a thousand pieces everyday when we witness their struggles just to do things we take for granted like, putting on our shirt or brushing our hair. Daily we come up with different ways of doing ordinary things just so they can have the confidence of being independent. It's so hard for me at times when I see Linzhi in Karate and kids stare at her skin graft on her arm. I'll ask her if she wants me to wrap it and she'll say "no mama, it's just me" Ok, lessened learned for mama. I cannot keep her from the world and I need to stop making mean eyes at the kids that stare at my daughter...LOL (I really don't make mean eyes but I want too). I find myself wanting to shelter her from any hurt feelings of not being "normal". I tell my children daily "DARE TO BE DIFFERENT". I started this when Trevor was itty bitty and I mean it! I want all my children to be proud of the way our Lord created them as they are all fearfully and wonderfully made by the hands of our creator. Life can be tough on these kiddos that look "different" but honestly every single person on this earth has a special need either you see it or you don't. Period. Enough said. :):):) Oh and by the way, Miss Linzhi and Madelyn have become little fish in the pool too...Just wanted to add. :)

We sent Little Gracie a cake, flowers and a picture of her new family. We were told by Adele it will be delivered today or tomorrow. I paid extra for digital pictures...I am praying we get at least one!!! I am just dying to see my baby. I am so grateful for the videos I have of her but I want to see what she's up to now and if I can see any signs of lack of oxygen in her face. My prayer for my daughter is that the Lord will breathe his healing breath into her heart and lungs and by the hands of the most powerful physician our daughter has some healing in her heart, Lord willing. I am not in denial but I am hopeful in the promise of our Lord. We are putting on our Shield of Amour and getting ready for the work the Lord is preparing us for with Gracie. OK, now get me on that plane to Beijing!!! Hopefully my next post will be pictures of our little one in Shanxi.

God bless and enjoy the pictures!

Linzhi making a goofy face in the hospital. She was going a bit stir crazy (me too)

Finally home from the hospital and completely exhausted.

The welcoming committee.

Feeling better at home.

Ok, pics out of order here... getting ready to apple pick this past Sunday.

The annual bus photo stop.

Trevor at his graduation party. See how long it's been...His hair is already grown out!

Back to the apple orchard. Seeing Madelyn pretending to eat a leaf...That's my goof ball.

Look at that arm!!! See the bulge of her strong muscle!!

Madelyn picking her apple.

All finished!

Now for dinner...yummy!

Rachel Cate lovin her pasta!

Miss Mady too!

The End!

WINNER!!!!

2011-08-15T17:35:00.002-05:00

CJ and I would like to thank so many people for their generous contributions towards our adoption fund for our Gracie Faith!!! Our grand total from the iPad2 raffle, HUGE garage sale and from many that just gave from their hearts we have raised.....

$6,500!!!!

And the winner of the iPad2 is.....

Mike Hammond!!

We are so blessed by all...THANK YOU!!!!

I must say, I am so ready to start blogging again. Since the fundraiser started a lot has been going on around here...stay tuned!!!

2011-06-23T21:25:00.009-05:00

Welcome to Gracie's fundraiser and your chance to WIN an iPad2!!! (scroll down to see details)

**Just wanted to share a little update...We are humbled and Praising the Lord for the works of his people! To date we have a total of $6000!!! Oh behalf of our entire family, THANK YOU for loving Gracie too!! ***As many of you know Gracie will be our fifth child, our third blessing from China. CJ and I were not expecting to adopt again so soon but the Lord had other plans for us. Gracie has a fragile heart that will need lots of special care once we get home. Just looking at her, we know she has a precious little soul and by the Grace of God and through our Faith we are heading back to China to bring our little Chickie home, where she belongs.

Here's what to do...

*For every $10 donation, your name will be entered to win! The more you donate, the more chances you get!

*August 15th, we will draw the name of the lucky winner for the iPad 2!!! (Please see picture below)

*For a safe and secure donation, please use the "chip in" option at the top right hand side of the blog. This will allow you to donate through paypal. You do not need a paypal account to donate. If you prefer to mail in a donation, please email me at corzine03@gmail.com and I will forward our address.

We are humbled and blessed for all the prayers and support.

Gracie & Linzhi

2011-06-21T11:12:00.004-05:00

Well, I just mailed off a big packet of paperwork to Amy @ Lifeline. aahhhh.....one step closer. This time around, I am very calm. YES, Calm!! Why?...only by the Grace of God. One thing I am praying for is an update with pictures. I am dying to see what my baby is up to in China....

Linzhi is doing better, she is still recovering and there is still some pain involved here and there. She a large sore under her arm pit. It's stitching but her cast was rubbing it which has caused Linzhi pain. We are now treating the wound and tucking cotton bandages in between her arm and cast. Praying her sore heals!!!

This afternoon, Linzhi and I are headed up to the Univ of Chicago but this time, we're going to visit Miss Lia, her best friend from China. Lia had surgery yesterday and she is now recovering as well. Praise God for the treatment our kids are able to receive here in the US. God is good!

Have a wonderful day!

Happy father's day!

2011-06-18T23:15:00.003-05:00

Happy father's day to three special men.

My honey with our kids... All we need is Gracie Faith to complete the picture.

My dad. Today, my dad, Cathy and Sage came over and cooked our family a yummy dinner. It was great having them over for a visit.

And Grandpa Willie.

WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!

Home sweet home!

2011-06-14T22:47:00.002-05:00

We got home yesterday afternoon after an eventful day....again.... They had to sedate Linzhi to take her tubes out, surgical taping and casting. The night before both IVs went bad and so they had to stick her again. The screams that came out of my poor child, I never want to hear again. God was so very good because the sedation fog didn't ware off until we were home for several hours. CJ had to work, the girls were with grandma and grandpa so it was Linzhi and I for the hour long ride home. I was so nervous she would wake to pain as they did not give her the pain meds before sedation. So again, we were blessed with a quiet ride home with my baby girl resting peacefully.

I plan on uploading more photos but CJ and I are walking zombies! It feels like we just came home with a newborn. She is not sleeping through the night and her muscle is still having spasms which cause her sharp pain. Bless her heart, little by little she's coming around. She was so very sad tonight as she woke up from her afternoon nap to find her sisters and daddy had left for VBS. I know they felt bad leaving but we knew it was too soon for her to be out especially if she had a spasm. Tomorrow our goal is to get her bathed, bandages off (per Dr) brush out her LONG hair that has been up in a bun for 7 days and possibly dressed, Linzhi may be heading to VBS with her personal nurse...mama. CJ is working security and the girls are in their activities so Linzhi and I will visit some of the craft tables and get a snack.

I just want to thank you all for praying. Many times CJ and I were so discouraged by the pain she was in and the helplessness that we were faced with. We could feel all the prayers as she would settle down into a peaceful sleep. He is so good to us!!! Much love to all. <><

update and pictures

2011-06-11T17:05:00.007-05:00

***Janet from "Four fingerprints of God", I am having issues leaving comments on your blog, I believe this is a Google issue as there are many people having the same dilema. Just want you to know, I'm praying for you all and I love the new pics of Sophia!!!

Linzhi is doing much better! Thank you Jesus!!! We are coming out of the heaviness of chasing her pain, we are now at the point of staying on top of it with Valium and Tylenol 3. Her last dose of morphine was given at 10:30pm last evening and we are now at 5pm the next day so I think we're finished with morphine!!!! It's a great drug to manage pain but we're so happy, she's past that point. We live an hour from the hospital, CJ and I have been here since surgery on Wednesday but now that we're staying a few days longer than we anticipated we have to be a little more creative in childcare for Madelyn and Rachel so tonight I will be heading home and CJ will stay and then Sunday night I will stay and Linzhi and I will come home together on Monday (Lord willing). I thought I would have the energy to post more frequently but that has not been the case at all! I looked in the mirror and had to double take! LOL.... This morning, I drove home to pick up my girls at home. Linzi was missing them so much and I certainly was too! I got fresh clothes, started some laundry, took the girls for a quick bit and then we were headed back up to Chicago. We are now awaiting a pizza from Giordano's and then the girls and I will head home to return tomorrow. Please forgive me is this post makes no sense...enjoy the pics!

Getting Linzhi up in her wheelchair for the second time...Still looking a little beat.

Getting ready to head to the Child Life center. Each kiddie got a barbie doll. :)

A close up of our beauties.

Coming back to the room from Child Life, Linzhi was pooped out.

Sleeping after her outing.

This picture is from Thursday when Miss Amanda and Miss Lia came for a nice long visit. Such a blessing to have wonderful friends! Miss Lia will be having surgery a week from Monday so Linzhi and I will be heading up to repay the visit. (they even see the same Drs.)

Enjoying a BIG sucker from Lia. :)

Miss Lia! A blessing from China.

Tuckered out after a long visit.

First time up in a chair. Look at the agony in her face. Broke my heart. This is the day my mama bear claws came out with the gal from PT. I get it, I know what they need to do for her but that day was NOT a good day for my girl. Mama trumped PT.

Linzhi update

2011-06-09T20:53:00.005-05:00

I have my pictures in the wrong order...just an effect of exhaustion I guess. The surgery went great, the recovery...Not so great. More like horrible. I have so much to talk about but honestly, I can hardly keep my eyes open and it's only 10am. Please pray for Linzhi, she is so brave even in pain that makes her thrash her body. In all my 18 years of parenting I have never felt this helpless in comforting my child. Please pray for her, we know there is a light at the end of this tunnel but to a six year old that thinks she will never play again or walk again, she's just not seeing this is temporary and who could blame her. PT is coming in this afternoon to try and get her on her feet. Yesterday, we made it into a wheelchair for 10 mins and that was agony for her. Today, she was ordered a muscle relaxer so we're praying to get her off morphine but if she's in too much pain, she'll get it. Our goal today.... getting her up on her feet, keeping her comfortable with her muscle relaxer and Tylenol 3 without morphine so this peanut can go home. All she wants is her sisters and brother, when she thinks of them she sobs.

Monday, we come back to have her tubes taken out and her cast put on. SHe will be sedated again (ugh) but I would rather her not feel any pain since they will be getting all the surgical tape, etc off her body. I pray this is not for nothing. I pray once her cast is off her muscle does what we're hoping it will do, I pray Linzhi will get her "new life" as she stated the night before surgery. I pray my baby gets through this day with little pain and discomfort.

I wish I had sunshine and rainbows to report because I hate to ever sound negative but I'm keeping it real and this at the moment is our reality. :(

A little smile. See how puffy her hand is? THis was the cause of terrible pain yesterday. See the bravery in her eyes? That's our girl!

Finally a little rest.

exhaustion.

On her way to surgery.

Grandma and grandpa

Big bro.

The girls.

nervous Linzhi but a trooper.

being brave.

Tomorrow- Surgery day!

2011-06-07T11:43:00.002-05:00

Please keep our baby in your prayers. I will post an update tomorrow night from Linzhi's hospital room. God bless!

My boy

2011-06-02T20:01:00.004-05:00

My one and only son. Sweet young man with a heart for Jesus. Where did the time go with this boy? 18.5 years ago, my life changed by the sweet blessing of Trevor. Today, we went to KCC (our community college) and got him registered for fall. I know he really wants to be at Columbia College but we all decided it's best if he starts at KCC. He will get to Columbia, I know it, CJ knows it and Trevor does too.

As we were walking out of the accounting office at his new school, he put his arm around me, kissed the top of my head and said "thank you mama". Oh my heart...more tears...

Linzhi Rose

2011-05-31T19:45:00.004-05:00

Oh my sweet baby girl. Those who know Linzhi have seen the precious heart God gave her. Always willing to help even if it's hard for her, no matter what, she will try. On Wednesday, June 8th, Linzhi is going to have a major surgery in order to get her right arm moving so she can have a more independent life. We have watched this angel go from a terrified, shut down orphan to a blossoming, out going, heart on fire for Jesus young lady. She is no longer one of the 147 million orphans, she is a daughter and we are blessed to be her mama and daddy.

Today we met with her surgeon at the University of Chicago. He is a gifted surgeon and we are blessed to have met him. He went over the procedure in graphic detail. Linzhi will have incision starting on her right side, all the way up and through her arm pit then down to her elbow. We're talking multiple inches. My heart sank, my head was spinning but I kept my cool and took notes trying to act like I wasn't going to pass out. Not from the idea of it but the thought of our daughter in pain. Oh my heart! Once she is open, he will move her lattisimus Dorsey muscle through the path he creates to attach it to her bicep. See, linzhi has a bicep muscle but it's like a deflated balloon. It cannot assist her in any function so she cannot bring her hand to her mouth. Linzhi has figured out a way to feed herself with a fork but she cannot spoon feed herself and CJ and I feel it's starting to irritate her because she is getting older and doesn't want to be a "baby" anymore and having mom or dad feeding her most of the time...Well, it's just not fun anymore especially at birthday parties or family events when she wants to be like everyone else. So of course, God's timing is perfect and now is the time for Linzhi to get her arm "helped out" (per Linzhi).

We will be in the hospital 2 or 3 nights depending on how she is handling pain. I will be there the entire time and CJ will be spending the nights with us. I have kid coverage at home with Grandma Sharon/Grandpa Willie, Aunt Onnie and Jill and Aunt Terry and we're thanking the Lord for that blessing!

I will be posting from the hospital because I'm sure there will be a lot of down time and I started this blog to capture memories and this will be a big one for Linzhi Rose.

Please keep our daughter in your prayers!!!!

My head is spinning...

2011-05-26T21:44:00.003-05:00

My dear friend Jill from Florida is an angel sent from God, no doubt. Her sweet Jack has CHD and doing great! I went to Jill immediately after we found Gracie had a serious heart problem. Jill went above and beyond for us by calling Nurse Deb at her son's cardiologist office. Not only did the Dr. agree to take a look at her file but come to find out she's Chinese! So I sent the translated and the Chinese report for her to review AND they were able to view her videos!

The diagnosis based on her report from 1.5 years ago is that she has progressive congenital heart disease. The nurse called our Gracie a "walking miracle" and that "something is keeping her heart going" Well, as believers we know, heart and soul who is holding her heart in HIS hands. Nurse Deb went on to say, she will need lots of work done on that precious heart. They were shocked to see her walking, walking up stairs, talking, laughing, etc... She shows NO struggle or labor when breathing or walking. A total MIRACLE.

I may be OVERLY optimistic here but something is NOT adding up with CJ and me. I hold so much doubt that her medical report is not 100% accurate. With that said, I do believe she has a heart issue that will require major repair but I feel in my heart, the Lord has other plans in mind for her. He is the designer of her heart and He is the ultimate doctor, mountain moving, miracle making Abba Father to us all. It's a blessing to witness other people calling her a "walking miracle" too!

I'm going to be real honest here. I had her funeral planned in my head. Terrible, right? I mean, the reports have been so grim and this mama has had her moments of complete.stiffiling.fear! CJ has remained steadfast and solid. He won't let his mind "go there". I, on the other hand think of all the "what if's". And the enemy has been working double, I mean triple time on me as he always does when one less orphan in the world is going to be released from the chains of living the life of the least of these. I mean anytime there is great "Godly" events happening, not only in adoption but anything ordained by the Lord, the pest goes into overtime, right? THANK YOU LORD for scriptures, prayer warriors, our encourager's, the body of Christ...Pulling us closer and closer to Him. I finally feel some freedom from fear. THANK YOU JESUS. I am no longer fearing her death or illness, I am looking at it through new eyes. We need to prepare her to meet Jesus just like we are doing for our other Children. Pouring Jesus into her thirsty soul is our job, healing her heart here on earth or in heaven is His job. I need to get out of His seat.

I called Amy @ Lifeline to let her know what the doctor said and she assured me, she is going to do EVERYTHING on her side to expedite this adoption so we can get her home as soon as possible. We're praying to shave time off of waiting for certain steps that can take a bit of time and we're going to make our trip in China as quick as we can. I hope she's home for Christmas...Hopeful thinking!

We are going to be rolling out a fundraiser raffle in the next couple of weeks. We will be raffling off an ipad2 and maybe a few other things. Please pray for financial provision. I know the Lord will provide, no doubt!!! Any fundraising suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!

God bless!

Guess who's coming to our house???

2011-05-20T21:28:00.002-05:00

That would be Miss Gracie Faith! China sent Lifeline our approval today!!!!! Here's a little picture of our baby girl. Oh my heart, she's too precious!!!!

Rachel is SAVED!

2011-05-16T21:14:00.003-05:00

Our church just finished up a 15 days revival and WOW, our family has been blessed!!! This evening CJ and I were putting the girls to bed and as we walked up to Rachel's room we saw her on bended knees, head down in her hands praying silently for the burdens of her heart. We were filled with Joy to witness our daughter going to her heavenly father in prayer. I quietly walked in and placed my hand on her back and prayed over her as she continued on. A beautiful moment to share with my daughter. After a bit, Rachel came down stairs, walked over to me and whispered in my ear "Now that I am older, I accept Jesus Christ as my savior". She then walked over and told her daddy the same thing. THANK YOU JESUS!!! My sweet angel is saved! A precious day for us!!

God bless!!

My Rock. My gift.

2011-05-14T01:16:00.002-05:00

At times, CJ and I are on different planets. :) Honestly, he is my best friend and I would be lost without him. He truly is my gift from God. This week has been emotionally draining for me. CJ has been rock solid about Gracie which gives me so much encouragement. I (we) can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and with the help of the people HE places in our lives.

So grateful to my hubs. Love ya's!

From conflicting hearts to PEACE

2011-05-11T22:48:00.000-05:00

What a day the Lord has made for us. Today, I woke from my sleep so conflicted and angry and on bended knees in prayer. I wasn't throwing a fit of anger or anything like that but I was angry my heart was choosing to believe the enemy and not my Lord and Savior. All the lies he pours on us to make use feel so inadequate and selfish. This morning I woke up knowing I can't move forward with Gracie.. I, I, I, I, I, I...That's all it was, it was ALL about ME. And I couldn't stop it. I email Lisa at Lifeline asking if she could refer to to another doctor and she did but she also sent me an angel named Andrea. I was able to talk to this fellow adopting mama about special needs kiddos and homeschooling our blessings. PRICELESS. I could feel my heart opening for Gracie. It was becoming more about God's will and Gracie and less about me, me me... CJ, bless his heart has not moved too far away from Gracie but the enemy worked on him too and put some fear into his heart as well. Our fear?? Bringing home a dying child. I can hardly type it because how dare we limit God? The Same God that created all things and is control of ALL things! We limit him too much!

Our church is having a Revival, it's actually wrapping up here in a few days and I will miss them all so very much. We have not missed one evening but tonight, I needed to stay home. I did not want to go, I was tired and teary and I wanted a pity party in my honor. CJ felt very different. He didn't ask me to go, he said "honey we're going". Reluctantly, I went and from the minute we walked in the Lord was convicting us left and right. I asked Him for something today, anything to give me hope and direction. Instead, He gave us 2 hours of answers to all of our questions. Here's a sample:
1. Hebrews 2:10-"It was fitting for Him...to perfect the author of their salvation through sufferings"

2. Hebrews 5:8-"He learned obedience from the things which He suffered".

3. 1 Peter 1:7- "the trial of your faith, being much more precious than gold".

I was so convicted that during the time we were asked if we felt the Holy Spirit calling us to share our testimony, yours truly went up to the mike. I cannot tell you what I said because I can't remember. My tuff as nails husband wept. When I was finished, I was asked to go to the prayer room and within minutes, I had two women who have children through adoption and a sweet girl that was adopted praying over me. We held hands and prayed and oh my, I had PEACE. By the time I found CJ we just knew our prayers were answered and God specifically told us to bring that angel home. We have no idea how much time she has on this earth but honestly, I do not know how much time any of my children, husband or even myself has on this earth.

Gracie needs to know what it feels to be loved by a family. Gracie needs to be celebrated. Gracie needs to get medical treatment. Gracie needs to know Jesus. Gracie is our daughter.

LORD WILLING, GRACIE FAITH IS COMING HOME.

This is our true story to Gracie. We are leaving the details to God. Our faith will be tested no doubt. The enemy will be attacking. We are putting on our Shield of Armour and moving forward into battle for our girl.

Please pray for us. Please pray for our baby. Please pray for healing. Please pray for a speedy adoption. PRAY PRAY PRAY!!! I would love to know how I can pray for any of you!!! Send me a note, I love prayer partnership!!

We will be sending in our LOI and as soon as we get PA, I will put my baby on my blog. She's a sweet, cutie little angel!

More to come... :)

Pouring out my heart.

2011-05-10T22:39:00.002-05:00

I am in a place I never thought I would be. In my hands I am holding the last document before submitting our LOI for Gracie Faith (Yes, we changed her name). We received some devastating news from a adult cardiologist about our baby girl. News that shook us to our core. I frantically called Children's Memorial hospital in Chicago asking (begging) for someone to read her report. The gal on the phone very nicely said to me "I don't think we can do this but I will ask". While on hold I was praying and waiting and I heard the message on the line "Children's memorial, the nations top hospital in cardiac advancements...A place of Hope for families". I started to cry...The ugly cry. Within a minute the gal came back on the line and said, her manager said to fax over what we have and she will hand deliver it to a doctor and someone would call me back. I could hardly believe my ears...Thank you LORD!!! A few hours later, she called me back asking if I had the CD of Gracie's ultrasound because the report is 1.5 years old. I said I didn't but I would request a new ultrasound from China but I was doubtful. I emailed Kelly at Lifeline and she immediately emailed Lily in China to see what she could do. Children's memorial did not feel comfortable diagnosing her within an updated ultrasound. Believe it or not, it gave me hope. Hope that the doctor wasn't too confident in an old report and maybe there was hope for our girl.

I am frozen in fear. CJ is more confident than I am at this point. I am on and off the fence within minutes Tears do not seem to stop dripping from my eyes.

I can't leave her there. I am afraid to bring her here, love her, mother her and then bury her. Where is my faith? Why is my heart so uncertain? We were committed to her on Sunday and then Monday we get bad news and I bail? Lord help me!

Ok, I know the minute I became a mother 18.5 years ago, God never promised me Trevor would out live me nor with my other three girls. But this time, we know she is ill and we might be walking into the fire of loving a gravely ill child and then possibly face her going home to Jesus. How selfish of me! As I sit where ever I am at the moment I am reminded of a little girl half way around the world living in squaller, probably not feeling very well, without a mama and daddy to love on her and care for her as she lives this life on earth. Alone.

We cannot leave her there.

Then my mind will wander to HOPE (darn I say it). What if the report is wrong? I mean, come on, it's a year and and half old and she's still living!!!! What if she comes here and the elite doctors at Children's memorial has options and treatment plans? Do I darn to hope?

We cannot leave her there.

No one is promised to live through tomorrow. I know this is fact! Why am I so afraid of this? The enemy is on high alert with me. I am feeling vulnerable and not at all like myself. The Lord is wrestling with my heart, HE is confirming many of my thoughts and helping me face my fears. I want Him to tell me what He has is store for this little girl but Faith in Him not come with a map or medical record. Faith is following without seeing.

WE cannot leave Gracie Faith in China. Please, please join us in prayer. We are awaiting more information from China but more than anything we are waiting on the Lord.

I will keep everyone posted. Thank you for letting me pour out my heart. <><

Happy Mother's day!

2011-05-07T23:44:00.003-05:00

HAPPY Mother's DAY to all my friends out in bloggy world!!!!

I will be having an extra special mother's day this year because... WE ARE EXPECTING another little girl blessing from CHINA!!!!!!

Lisa Kelly (Sweet heart) from Lifeline emailed me that we were able to lock a file on Little miss. Now we are preparing all the paperwork to send to China in order to get a Pre- approval. Once that comes in (Lord willing) we will then be able to post a picture of our Mia Faith. But if you can't wait, check out the waiting child list at Lifeline and scroll down to "Gracie" ...That's our baby girl!

Once we get our PA, I will post more on how the Lord moved quickly on getting our hearts ready. GOD IS SO AMAZING!!!!

More to come....

Thank you Jesus!

2011-04-22T16:11:00.002-05:00

Saved by His blood.

Update in pictures! (in no particular order)

2011-04-16T10:49:00.009-05:00

Photo of Linzhi by Madelyn.

Madelyn and Linzhi (self portrait)

See what happens when my camera disappears!

Our Linzhi LOVES pillow pets!

Posing with Linzhi's pillow pets (picture by Linzhi)

Another cute picture by Madelyn.

At MGM with Handy Mandy!

Universal Studios at Harry Potter-Trevor's absolute favorite!

Passing out in Madelyn's wheelchair (staged of course!)

With Belle at Cinderella's castle.

And Snow White.

Embracing Cinderella.

On the train at Magic Kingdom!

Ariella. Big brother stated "she's the prettiest"

Minnie's place

Toon town. Last week before it was taken down =(

Early morning at Denny's as we were leaving for our long drive to Florida!

Craft time!

Chinese New Year preparations!

Linzhi filling her red envelopes.

Madelyn too!

Sisters forever!

Madelyn being goofy at the Children's museum. Madelyn getting her pizza order.

Linzhi cooking plastic hot dogs.

Rachel bringing me my order.

Madelyn playing dentist.

Linzhi showing me how she can stretch her hands. PROGRESS!

Posing for mama.

Water works. Fun and WET!

Back at the diner.

School, working on self portrait.

Rachel too!

Trevor at his 18th birthday party!

Madelyn made me lunch. Ham sandwich and an orange.

Sharing Madelyn's story

2011-04-13T21:07:00.003-05:00

My sweet Madelyn. She brings so much joy to our lives. She's is witty and sharp as a whip and her mathematical skills...forget about it, she's brilliant! As she is learning more and more English, she and I talk all the time about her past life in China. I am sharing this with all of you because I know there are some folks out there that are adopting older children and this information may be helpful in some way. It's not easy to share because it breaks my heart all over again for her but I know the Lord is with her, she is on fire for JESUS and I know He has mighty plans for our girl. Madelyn is usually the last one to finish eating at the dinner table which has given CJ and I some valuable one on one with her. She loves to talk and she loves to talk about "her" China and I chuckle as I type this because she feels Linzhi's China is very different from her China and Linzhi feels her China is very different than Madelyn's. *sisters* Anyway, one evening Madelyn asked me if I miss someone. I said yes, I miss my grandpa and grandma that passed away almost 10 years ago, then she asked CJ if he missed someone and he said he misses his dad that passed away too. I then asked Madelyn if she was missing someone (I know she is) and she answered her China mom and dad. I went out on a limb and asked what she misses the most. My eyes were welling and my throat was lumpy but I strongly feel she needs to get it all out to fully heal from her loss. She stated she misses dinner time with them. Oh my heart. I just picture her at the dinner table with them, laughing and being silly like she is with us. How do you mend her broken heart? I then sat real close to her, held her in my arms and told her how sorry I was that she was missing them so much and how I wished for her one day she could go back to Wuhan to see them and I added that I don't know why God chose for her to leave her China family to be apart of ours but we are so happy she is here. She looked at me very seriously and firmly and stated this. " Mom, I know why I am here. My China mom is going to be dead soon. Her doctor told her because she is sick in her stomach, no one could take care of me so God gave me to you and daddy" I type through tears because my 9 year old knows why God did the amazing thing He did for her precious life. He gave her a forever family that would pour the power of Jesus on her and show her that life in Christ will set her free and she gets it! WOW. CJ and I looked at each other is complete awe at our little treasure. So that evening as I was going to bed, I checked on all my kiddies. Madelyn of course was still awake, I gave her lots of hugs and told her how much I loved her and how daddy and I are so grateful she's our daughter. We said good night and I went to bed. As I laid there, I wept. I could not control it. It felt too big for me so I went into prayer for my daughter. Within minutes, I was back in her room gathering her pillow and walked her back with me. I cradled her in my arms and we prayed together. I told her I never want her to bottle things up inside (What's bottled up mom? =) and I want her to know she can tell me anything. She replied, anything? Yep, I answered anything. Ok mom, I have something to tell you (insert stomach dropping). She continued, when I was 4 years old my China mom and dad worked so my sister (foster parents daughter, age 20 at the time) would babysit me until they came home from work. "Well, she hit me lots". I couldn't speak. All I could muster up was "Hit you?" "Yeah, I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself cuz my hands not good so I would cry and cry because I had to go potty and then I pee pee my pants and she would hit my face". I asked how many times she did this and she replied about "12 or 15 times." I was without words, I held her and my tears dripped on her head. I told her as best as I could that she would never be hurt again and she answered "I know mom, you love me". Finally I was able to ask her if she ever told her parents what happened and she said she did and that her China mom hit her sister with the broom until she cried and from that point on she was never alone with her again. So from age 4 until 5 Madelyn suffered from physical abuse. Of course, we are angry and hurt for our little girl. She was loved by her parents but not loved by her sister and I feel she was probably maybe jealous of Madelyn and took her anger out on our girl. Madelyn told me her sister was not good in her head so we both agreed we needed to pray a lot for her and we do. You see, when you adopt an older child they were without you for years and years, they have a past life of being vulnerable and alone and if by the Grace of God they come out of the life of an orphan most likely they'll join a family that doesn't speak their language so it's months before the healing can begin. If you are just coming home or will be going to get your older child soon, my advice is to be very patient because there is so much more to them than what is written about them on the report from the file. There is pain and suffering that most likely took place and lots of loss to top it off. I feel in my heart Madelyn saw violence that's why she crumbles so easily at any arguments that occur with the girls but I also see Madelyn is becoming more and more comfortable in her own skin and now that she can talk to me and her daddy she is expressing herself and sharing her precious life with us. I will forever be haunted by what my daughter went through and as we discover her more we may find more painful truths to her life before us but hearing this and praying with her, crying with her, holding her as if she was a baby brought us closer in so many ways. I get her more now than ever and CJ is even more gentler with her now. Behind her wit and sense of humor is a little girl that has lived a lot of life in her short 9 years and carries a great loss in her heart but Madelyn knows why the Lord brought her here and she told me how much she loves Jesus. In my heart and soul, that's all I need to know. Jesus is in the process of healing her broken soul and I know He has big plans for our girl. It's just going to take lots and lots of time. Please pray for all the older kiddos out there that are in the process of getting to know their new family OR for those precious souls that wait to see if their time will ever come. God bless.

Confessions...

2011-04-02T17:47:00.005-05:00

*I tried to break this post in paragraphs but for some reason, I can't. Sorry!!!* I confess, I have neglected my blog...No, I totally forgot my blog! I have so much to update...Here's a little bit of what's been going on around here. • Mid-January my dad found out he had prostate cancer but by the Grace of God he is now cancer free after a successful surgery and a clean pathology report. Thank you Jesus!!! • First week of February, we packed up and drove to Florida for DISNEY WORLD! We had a blast, it was a great time to go as we were able to just walk on some of the rides, no waiting! The longest we waited was about 10 minutes. Madelyn experienced DW for the first time which made it especially sweet. We scheduled a lunch at Cinderella's castle (second time I celebrated my birthday at the castle...LOL) Madelyn and Rachel were speechless when their favorite princess Belle came to our table, they were polite, said hello and gave her a hug, Linzhi on the other hand talked her head off! It was too cute to see how chatty Linzhi was with everyone she met. My little shy baby has turned into a social butterfly. It's amazing how love can change a person. God is good! Trevor was a good sport at the castle and told us that Ariela was his favorite...LOL... She was pretty! We drove instead of flying which I thought would be a challenge but it was actually fun and lots of memories were made. • We have about 6 more weeks of homeschool and I have to say, I am excited for next year! We love it and the girls are flourishing. It's been a God send from day one and Miss Madelyn in now officially bilingual. She can read English with comprehension and her spelling is out of this world. Best educational decision we have made for our kids. • All three girls are in gymnastics this year and absolutely love every minute of it. We're wrapping up mid-May until the fall and I have to admit, I'm looking forward to having a easy going summer of swimming and activities without a schedule • In March, I got an offer to go back to work from my former employer. I left almost exactly two years ago and I was a little heartbroken because I loved my job so much but Rachel and Linzhi were so little that it was just too hard to work from home with them. But God's timing is everything and CJ and I feel this is really a blessing. I had a brief moment of "what am I doing? where am I going to find the time?" but honestly it is working out beautifully!! I work 20 hours per week (any hours I want) from home as a virtual health care recruiter. I recruit in Chicago and Kansas City and I absolutely love it and the girls are old enough now that they can color or play right next to me while I work without any problems. It has required me to get up way too early in order to get school done and regular chores finished but it's all working out. I start my day with the Lord and it truly helps me throughout the day. What would we do without Him??? It also feels good to contribute to the family income especially when the way grocery/gas prices are rising and it's also nice to build our savings for the future. (Maybe for a trip across the world again??????) =) • Linzhi Rose was scheduled to have a muscle transfer on April 27th but yesterday we received a call from the doctors office letting us know we were bumped to June 8th due to her doctor being out on emergency medical leave. We are concerned for her Dr. ,he's a great guy and we wish him well with lots of prayers. I'll keep you all posted if we're bumped again. • CJ is putting together a team of guys to go back to China in October for another mission trip delivering bibles across the border. I am so proud of my husband, I love that his heart is for the Lord and his passion for getting bibles into the hands of all those precious Chinese souls. He'll be gone 10 days so I booked a little getaway for all the kids and me to spend a few days in a quaint little town a few hours away. We plan on doing lots of fun "fallish" things and just hanging out together. I booked a double room at a cute B&B that CJ and I stay in when we go, so it will be a lot of fun. Although,I am going to miss my CJ because that's our special place. • Madelyn is doing very well. I find it's like peeling an onion, there are so many layers to her and little by little she is letting us in to her life in China with her China mom and dad. We have shed many many tears together which is healing for her but heartbreaking to watch. She talks of fondness but there's sadness in her eyes. Madelyn has a deep soul, lots of stuff she's figuring out. One thing that is just so amazing is her passion for Jesus! She just loves her bilingual bible which gave her a good understanding but she wants more! She is such a sponge and can't wait to learn more. It really is amazing to see how her relationship with the Lord is just blossoming. • Rachel Catherine is such a great girl. I just love how she can recite Psalm 23 so beautifully. All three girls can which is so precious. Rachel recites it like she's talking right to Jesus which I'm sure He hears. I also notice that lately Rachel is very interested in the life of Jesus on earth, Crucifixion and Resurrection and asks me questions all the time. Some I can answer, some we look up in the bible and some just can't be answered. Like Madelyn, she accepts Jesus with open arms. • Linzhi Rose, my little peanut...My sweet little Rose that has been given the gift of a servants heart. She has a little trouble saying her "r's" so when she recites Psalm 23, I know the Lord just smiles at how cute she is, I know I do. Linzhi truly is my child that strives to be obedient, the other too try but don't put as much effort into it (ha ha), with Linzhi she is my helper girl, my shadow for the most part. I notice at times she can be hard on herself if she makes a mistake so I'm working with her on that daily. Madelyn is the same way but I'll post about that later. Linzhi has really impressed me this first year of school. She is really a bright girl and loves her Jesus and we love her so very much. • My Trevor. My adult child. How can it be??? Oh my, so many changes coming for him. College!! We all decided on community college for the first 2 years which I think is in his comfort zone and I am happy he's not leaving just yet but I have pulled back on "mothering" him so much and it's nice to see that he's doing just fine without my input all the time (sniff sniff) I don't wake him up for church and haven't for over a year but he manages to get there...late...but he's there and that makes us very proud. Well, there is so much more to talk about and I do want to keep the blog going, I love looking back on all the memories. So I will be back soon and next time with pictures!! God bless!

Cross and stitch

2011-01-15T23:09:00.004-06:00

We have a little bit of cabin fever here in our house. We leave for Disney World in exactly 3 weeks so the girls are just beside themselves with excitement, not to mention Miss Linzhi turns 6 in two weeks! Even with all the upcoming events, we are climbing the walls. School is keeping us very busy and I've been adding in a few field trips here and there to switch up our days plus we have gymnastics and dance once a week, so we're not complaining, we're just missing the sun and outside play. So, I've been trying to think up a winter activity that could keep them busy in the evenings and off their DS (very limited). I wanted to find something that they all could do on their own but the same project so I felt a little too ambitious and dug out my sewing box and an old sheet and proudly proclaimed "mama's gonna show you how to make homemade baby dolls!" Ok, if you know me, you know I can cook up a storm, plan and host great parties, and even a few more things here and there but the Lord did not bless me with the gift of anything to do with threading a needle or running a sewing machine! I tried, I really did. I have a bloody thumb to prove it! The girls were not that impressed with their super mama (ha ha), in fact, I think they saw a side of me that maybe shocked them.. I.GAVE.UP! Yep, I told them I was so sorry to disappoint but I have a plan and it involves getting your new cowboy boots on ($6 bucks at Target and all three got a pair-whoo hoo) and going to Hobby Lobby!! They shouted for joy and off we went, even with daddy in tow. CJ and I were reminiscing of years gone by when we both did "latch hook" projects so we thought that would be a great way to start. Once we got there, it was apparent it was too much of a project to start with and the girls didn't seem too interested (darn for me, I wanted to get my old latch out) however, we did find some awesome "starter" cross stitch kits and we grabbed all of them plus, they we're 30% off!! We hit it big so we couldn't wait to get home...Well, after we walked around for almost an hour. =)

Enjoy the pics! God bless!

Miss Linzhi taking a break to look up at mama.
Rachel covering up her cross stitch because she's not finished yet and doesn't want anyone to see it (except me, cuz I'm her helper) =)

Madelyn proudly displaying what she has accomplished thus far.

Madelyn is very detailed and a bit of a perfectionist (except in keeping her room clean).

Rachel getting the hang of it!

Look at this girl! This is the same little girl we were told would NEVER be an independent child. Our response, "never put a limit on any child" and she proves this to us every.single.day!

Trevor

2011-01-12T21:27:00.003-06:00

Today, my baby turned 18. It was bittersweet. I miss the little guy that would crawl on my lap and show me his stories and drawings however, I'm also so happy to have this "big" guy in my life too! I love our long conversations that go into the wee hours of the night and I love to watch him grow more and more into his walk with the Lord. I am so proud to call him my son and I am looking forward to watching him grow into adulthood. He will always be my first baby!

Love you Trevor!!

2011-01-01T19:33:00.004-06:00

WOW! Happy New year to all of you! We had such a wonderful, blessed Christmas season this year! It was especially joyful now that our little bird (Madelyn) is in the nest. I remember last Christmas, our home was packed up and ready to be moved into our new home and we were still waiting to hear from USCIS on whether or not we could move forward with our adoption for Mady... And look now! Unpacked and loving life with my hubs and 4 babes! Things have slowed down for a bit which has been lovely but we are all ready to get back into our school routine which starts back up on Tuesday. Although, we have stopped most of our school work, CJ and I have been reading so they don't fall backwards, especially Madelyn since she is doing so beautifully! Rachel Cate reads very well and Linzhi is starting to read short sentences, as a matter of fact, tonight she read an entire page from her K-beginner book! Madelyn continues to read her Mandarin books as well as her English reader books, we told her she needs to keep learning Mandarin AND English and she agreed that she would like to speak and read both languages! I LOVE IT! She is teaching her sisters and mama a little too. So here's a little update on the kiddies...

Trevor- My eldest child will be 18 on the 12th of this month, I am excited for him but at the same time shocked at how fast the time went and how much I miss that little guy that was my shadow for so many years, just the two of us. He has grown into a wonderful, Godly young man and we are both so very proud of him! He loves his job and is having a great time with his friends. We'll be meeting at the local community college to discuss next year and then in no time he will be off to college. He chose to start at the community college and live at home for 2 more years and then he would like to transfer to Columbia College, downtown Chicago which isn't too far from me...sniff sniff... I also have a sense of accomplishment that we now have one child raised. I was a young mama when he came into my life and the odds were against me God gave me what I needed to raise him to the best of my abilities with mistakes along the way :) The night before I delivered him, I made a promise to him that not one day would go by without him knowing how much I love him and without a doubt I have told that child everyday how much I love him, some days he would brush me off but now I think he gets it. I will never stop.

Madelyn- Oh where to start with this girl. Everyday we learn more and more about her life in China, she is an open book and LOVES to tell us everything about her China mom and dad and we LOVE listening to her, she's lived a fascinating life before her move to the West. I just eat it up, so does CJ. Little girls are talkers and this one tops them all! We continue to pray for her China mom and dad and since she knows more English and can understand us better we made sure she knew we want her to continue to love and think of them as her parents along with us. It seems once she understood we don't want her to forget her past or that we didn't want to know about her life in China that on the contrary we wanted all her memories to stay alive AND the love for the people she left behind, she became an open book AND her grieving stopped! Don't get me wrong, she cries at the drop of a hat but it's because of an argument or she's extra tired but honestly every time I ask her if she's missing China she tells me "No, but I go back one day to Wuhan and cuz I happy with you" My cup over flows...

Rachel Cate- Oh this baby girl, she is daily reminding me of how alike we are! I have alittle history buff on my hands and I'm LOVING it!!! We are now hooked on a TV show called "If walls could talk" it's on HGTV, we DVR all the episodes and watch them together. It's our special thing together and just having her with me, just us is a precious time for me because she's always on the move! Rachel continues to amaze me at how willing she is to help her sisters that need some extra care once in awhile. CJ and I are very careful that she doesn't get burdened but honestly we feel this is something between the Lord and Rachel. She has been given a heart of compassion for those that have some struggles and it melts my heart to see her blossom into a wonderful sister. (She is also the ringleader in much of the mischief around here too...LOL)

Linzhi Rose-my baby. She is our youngest and that fits her just fine! This little teeny tiny girl has such a BIG heart. I always tell her that she has been given a servants heart and that it is a spiritual gift from God. She always smiles and says "I like to help God" (oh my heart). Linzhi is my shadow, no doubt! Where I am, she is. The other day I was cleaning upstairs and noticed my shadow wasn't with me, all the way down the hall I saw her walk from my room to her room, I asked her what she was doing and she replied "Looking for you!" Where did you go??? This coming from the little girl that didn't want much to do with me when she was placed in my arms at three years old and now to a little girl that has to have her mama within an ear shot....AMEN is all I can say, thank you Jesus! Linzhi Rose has a big year ahead of her, she will be having the first of several surgeries coming up in the spring. We are excited and scared all at the same time so I will be updating on the blog when we get a more information. I will be calling out to my prayer warriors.

CJ and I feel overly blessed to have so many wonderful blessings in our children and our family and friends. Life can be interesting and scary sometimes but it's such a security to know Jesus has all of our backs...All of us! Many this year bring you closer to the Lord and Saviour Jesus!

Here are some pics, not all in order but I wrote captions...

Christmas Eve at Grandma Nessa and Grandpa John's
"Elf Madelyn" making Christmas presents for her family. ( I was Mrs. Claus and CJ was Santa-all week long...LOVED IT!)

"Elf Linzhi" She was really happy, promise!

"Elf Rachel" putting in overtime at the workshop!

My little bro Sean...Lovingly called Seany by all. =)

Linzhi Rose loving her dolphin pillow pet, the only thing she wanted! I asked for what she would like for her upcoming birthday and her reply "Another dolphin pillow pet" =)

Miss Mady and Rachel Cate on Christmas morning.

group shot!

Mama helping Lu Belle with her gifts.

Sage, Rachel and Madelyn

Christmas morning!

Opening up presents from big bro.

This is a true expression from Rachel. Her DSI was stolen from her over the summer and she knew it was expensive so she asked for a new one at Christmas. I kept telling her, I don't know, it's a lot of money... She was truly surprised, just liked we wanted it to be. =)

Again, more excitement and more to come because Madelyn was opening us her DS. Linzhi Rose still has her DSI from the summer but really all she wanted was that pillow pet!

And the pillow pet is opened!

We had many activities this Christmas season and one that we look forward to is the dance recital. Our girls attend a Christian dance studio so the entire show was to celebrate Jesus! Look at Madelyn, she was nervous! There were over 200 people in attendance but once she was on stage, she and Linzhi did great! Rachel is in a different class this year.

Rachel posing before her acrobat show.

Waiting for Rachel to come on stage.

Madelyn loved every minute for the three hour recital. Notice the look on her face...How do you spell relief??? My. dance. is. over!

Trevor loving the recital...maybe not all of it! He's a trooper!

catching up!

2010-12-26T22:27:00.003-06:00

We had a wonderful Christmas with our family and friends! My plan is to work on a catch up post with pictures reflecting all the recent activities. Stay tuned.... ;)

To blog or not to blog?

2010-11-30T15:54:00.002-06:00

I have to admit, I hardly think of my blog anymore. I have so much to say but time is not on my side however, I love to look back on our lives and this blog has proved to be a wonderful way to capture memories. But still, it's one more thing to think about, ya know what I mean?!?!?

What should I do?

Any Suggestions?

~Amy

3 year forever family day!

2010-11-19T16:29:00.003-06:00

Three years ago in a dark/damp civil affairs office in Nanjing (pronounced Nan-Jin) CJ, my sister Allison and I sat on pins and needles waiting for our Linzhi Rose. I will never forget how she felt in my arms, the thickness of her hair, the scent of her skin and ALL THE CLOTHES she was wearing. As we unwrapped her we found a teeny tiny scared little girl. Oh how I wish I could go back that day and hold her. It's no secret Linzhi and I didn't bond right away but oh my heart, that girl is mine! (And daddy too). My Linzhi is by far my easiest child, she has a servants heart and loves to joyfully help you anytime. I cannot type this without tears because out of all my children Linzhi had the toughest beginning. Madelyn knew love and felt love, she is not a typical orphan (praise God). Our Linzhi came to us knowing hunger and thirst and didn't know how to be anything but a child waiting in line to eat and maybe get a drink. She still guzzles her water( but now it's because she's too busy to stop and enjoy it) and she still needs to know there's food available but over time I have seen how my little rose has blossomed into a little girl knowing her daddy and mama will never leave her, she will always be fed, she will always be loved and cherished and she knows heart and soul who her saviour is. My little peanut can recite with pride Psalm 23, she works the hardest at everything but you would never know it, she is always cheerful. I love you Linzhi Rose Xiao Li. Our journey together is nothing but a miracle and I am so grateful to God our father for picking YOU especially for mama and daddy and we are so grateful your China mama and baba chose to give you a chance at life. Happy forever family day to you!

Birthday wishes for my baby girl

2010-11-15T15:43:00.004-06:00

Today our daughter Rachel turns 7. Oh my heart! We love this kid so much!! When we found out she was on her way, it changed EVERYTHING! Getting her here was not easy but we praise God she made her way into our lives. Rachel is my mini me, we are both a little over dramatic at pretty spark-a-lee things and LOVE to browse (Linz, Madelyn, daddy and Trev, not so much). Some days she can make all my hair turn gray and then I melt. What can I say, I love my girl!

2010-11-12T20:12:00.003-06:00

Golly...It's been too long. I wanted to post this before I forgot and it was too sweet and precious not to post AND I have some exciting news for our Miss Linzhi.

We'll start with Madelyn. This evening my poor hubby was having a difficult time breathing. He's a long time sufferer of Asthma. It truly breaks our hearts when he has such a time with it and this evening for some reason he got bad almost to the point of heading to the ER for a steroid shot. Rachel, Madelyn and I held hands and prayed while Linzhi and daddy went to the bathroom. Madelyn asked intently what was wrong with daddy. I told her he was having trouble breathing but he will be OK. She looked very serious and sat down at the dining room table while I finished up dinner. Our dining area is open to the kitchen so I talked to her while I cooked, she got very quiet and a little red in the face. I asked her if she was ok? She got up from her chair quickly walked over to me wrapped her arms around my waist and started to sob. I got on my knees, looked her in the face and asked what was the matter!??! Through heavy tears she asked "Is daddy going to die?" Oh my heart! By this time CJ was in the kitchen and heard what she said. He grabbed his eldest baby girl and they hugged for a l.o.n.g time. For the first time Madelyn let her wall come down for her daddy. It has taken much time for this to happen, in fact we didn't know if it would ever happen because she was so close to her China daddy. CJ never pushed himself on her, he gave her plenty of space and little by little she would let him in. So tonight, our hearts were so blessed to witness the love she has in her heart for her new daddy. You see, we talk about her China mama and daddy all the time, we want to celebrate them with her because she loves and misses them so much and we are so grateful to them for loving and taking such excellent care of her. We pray for them and this has proven to help Madelyn. It is still heart breaking because as her English gets so much better she is able to tell me more and more. The other day we were talking about what her China mama would make her to eat. I asked her if she missed her and she said "yes but I not going to see again" Sorry folks, I could not hold it in, the tears welled in my eyes, when Madelyn saw this she said to me sternly (that's my Madelyn). "No cry mama, I happy with you." Oh my heart, I (we) love that girl so very much! I love having her in our home, I love watching her get ready for "Merry Christmas" and "Jesus happy birthday" Last year at this time we were devastated because we thought we lost her for the 2nd time and TO GOD BE THE GLORY she is here in our arms. God is so amazing. There is no way if it's God's way for things not to work for your good if you seek His will for your life. I am so grateful we didn't allow our fears to keep us from continuing the journey to get her. We will always be open to the calling of adoption, I just pray he's not finished with us in that department yet...wink wink...

Ok, Linzhi Rose. Yesterday we went to The Univ. Of Chicago to meet with a hand specialist Dr. M. We left completely amazed at what he is able to do for her! It's a process of several surgeries (4-5) but in time our Linzhi will finally be able to bring her hands to her mouth which means she will be able to feed herself, pull up her pants, comb her hair, overall she will be able to live independently one day IF and that's a big IF we allow her to leave (smile). Anyway, the first surgery is going to be complex. He is going to remove her Latissimus muscle from her back and transplant it into her Bicep muscle...Yep, can you believe it?!?!?! We were speechless. This will enable her to have the strength to bend her elbow to bring her hand to her mouth and in time possibly the back of her head. He will do one elbow at a time so once that is finished he will then go into her teeny tiny wrists to release her extremely tight teeny tiny tendon which will allow her teeny tiny fingers to extend and she will be able to keep her wrist in a neutral position. These surgeries will not be easy for her, they will require pain management, physical therapy and Miss Linzhi will have to learn how to reuse her hands. He also confirmed she does indeed have Arthrogryposis it's just very rare that she only has it in her uppers and not her lowers. He stated in the 30 years of his career he has only seen 4 cases and that includes our baby. Sweet Jesus is working out all the details for our precious Lu Belle. I will keep you all posted. We return on January 3rd to discuss the first surgery. Please keep her in your prayers.

My Rachel will be 7 on Monday (sniff sniff). We love that girl! She is such a selfless child especially when it comes to helping her sisters. She is the best swing pusher (Underdogs are her specialty), she never hesitates to help in the bathroom or if one of them needs assistance with getting dressed, she truly is a blessing to them AND she needs them too. They fight like the best of them but they love each other completely. God certainly knew what he was doing when He put those three girls together.

Trevor is doing great, loving his job and he's grades are amazing! I can't believe my baby boy will be 18 in January. I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE AN ADULT CHILD....DO YOU HEAR ME!??!?! Ha Ha...I had him at 19 so I guess I'm not that old... I wrote him a letter when he was a new born, I sealed it and tucked it in his baby book with a note attached "Do not open until January 12, 2011" This January he will open it and read the words his young mama wrote to him. Every time I think of it, I get teary because I remember writing that letter and thinking WOW, 18 years is so long away and yes it is a long period of time but honestly it went by too fast for me. My prayer is that he continues to walk with the Lord so that his time on earth will be filled Grace and Hope. I will always be his mama and will keep many tabs on him and be there whenever he needs me but actually "mothering" him has started to become less and less as he crosses the line from child to now young adult. It's all good and healthy for him but this mama's heart sure misses that 7 year old boy that would draw me pictures and sit next to me and let me hold him. I still get hugs and smooches but he towers over me now and it's not appropriate for him to sit on my lap anymore (lol) so I will tuck all my sweet memories of my little boy in my heart and look forward to watching my son grow into a Godly man. what a blessing it is to be his mom.

This weekend is party-ville at our house celebrating our precious Rachel. Monday I will post pictures and some words from my heart.

God bless to all.

Our new family member.

2010-10-29T15:20:00.003-05:00

Oh how I wish I was announcing another baby but I'm not (yet). It's shaggy and cute and his name is Buster. Oh the things we do for our kids...Right?!?! So here's the deal. My Rachel is no doubt a dog LOVER! We have an overweight teacup yorkie named Tinkerbelle and as much as she is a family dog, she prefers Rachel over anyone (except me...lOL) So when Madelyn came home we discovered she had a dog with her China mama and Baba and she told us his name was bay bay and she missed him very much. (insert heartstrings tugging). CJ and I both looked at each other like we were saying with out words...Oh crap! Everyday she would ask if she could get a baby doggy for her birthday (like a year from now) but there is no way I could have her wait that long. CJ and I both agreed it would have to be another yorkie because they are hypoallergenic and since we had to find our lab Russell a home in July due to allergies we decided it was best to stay with the breed we knew. So I started looking online for a teacup yorkie but the cost was as much as the application fee for an adoption and I would rather pay an application fee over the cost of purchasing a puppy, so we decided to look for a standard yorkie cause they're a lot cheaper! I found a breeder not too far from us so I gave them a call, set an appointment and off we went with our Tinkerbelle to see if she could find a friend. I need to add this. Tinkerbelle is not a barker, she only barks if someone is at the door and then she stops. She is ultra friendly and sweet so finding a dog that wasn't high strung was our highest priority. Oh my we walked in and it was total bark city and I was nervous! I sitting down among all the barking puppies and little did I know there was a little boy dog sitting next to me not making a peep. Yep, I thought, he's the one...! Madelyn however wanted the runt of the liter that was skiddish and stand-offish and I knew in my gut that dog was going to be a nipper and a barker so it was up to me to change her mind...Not an easy task mind you. Needless to say, we got the little boy dog that was friendly and quiet and he is now our Buster. So far he is doing wonderful! Potty training is going good, we have a dog run attached to our school room door so it's e.a.s.y! Rachel Catherine is such a help with potty training! The minute she wakes up, she brings him out and it's been cold in the morning, bless her heart! Tinker is a puppy pad dog which I regret so this puppy is an out door pooper and pee-pee-er. So far so good. He is bigger and shaggy and he's sweet as can be. Welcome to crazy-ville Buster!!!

First night home and no his eyes are not yellow.

Madelyn with our sleeping Tinkerbelle.

Rachel and Lu belle with Buster (and Madelyn peeking around the corner in the school room)

This and That.

2010-10-23T21:22:00.003-05:00

Oh my blog, my poor poor blog...I have been a bad blogger this month, time is just not on my side, we are busy busy!! Here are a few updates on our family.

* Madelyn is doing wonderful! We have a few crying moments but lately I've noticed it's set off by not getting her way (all the time). Madelyn is a little on the stubborn side and holds her ground which I totally get and admire but at times it gets her in a little hot water. I love how she expresses herself, she is very much getting her English down so she is much more chatty with us and LOVES to talk about China and her past life and of course, we gobble every word up. We've been talking about her China mama and China baba a lot! I think she felt she couldn't and now that she knows we encourage her to talk about them and that we welcome it, she brings them up all the time. They are now apart of our family, we pray for them and hope one day when we go on the homeland tour we can visit them. We always pray at dinner as a family and take turns doing it, I have asked Madelyn if she would like to say prayer and she always said no. Well, on October 20th (3 month adoption day), she eagerly asked to say grace...Oh what a joy to hear her praise Jesus and thank him for her family and meal. It truly blessed our hearts. She's our angel and brings so much to our family. Friday we attended our church's fall festival (pics below). Last year at the fall festival, CJ was in China on the mission trip smuggling bibles across the China/Hong Kong border and two days prior we got our denial letter from USCIS. I could barely get through an hour without tears but had to get it together to take my babies to the festival alone, without CJ. As we were there I remember praying/begging the Lord to move mountains so we can get our daughter home and I specifically remember being in church at the festival imagining Madelyn there the next year and this year she was. I got very teary as we were driving to church this year for the festival because as I glanced in the backseat there she was holding her Belle baby doll looking out the window not knowing how her mama and dadda's hearts were full of gratitude for those mountains being moved for her to become on less orphan. I am grateful for the spiritual battle we faced with the enemy to get her in our arms, I learned and hold firm to trusting ONLY in him. HE is bigger than any government, nation, person. He is King!

Now moving on to another blessing, Linzhi Rose. Linzhi's brain and spinal scan came back clear, no signs of any trauma which Dr. S thought she had so the mystery continues. It's kind of exciting because now that we know she doesn't have Arthrogryposis we have more hope that her little hands and wrists can be helped even more. We have an appointment on November 11th with Dr. S's partner Dr. M. Dr.M is a hand specialist and Dr. S. seems to think Linzhi needs her hands rewired and a tendon release and he is very confident Dr. M can get her some help. We are over the moon excited it's been three years that she's been home so it's time to get moving! All the girls are doing very well in home school, gymnastics and dance. Linzhi Rose out of the three stands out as being the most athletic, I see a future gymnast in our future!?!??

Rachel Catherine will be 7 in a few short weeks. Oh I love this child, she is growing up and expressing herself all over the place...fashion, drawing, decorating and re-decorating her room. I love when she comes into the class room with her leopard print clogs, a scarf, purse and make-up, I love it because I get it! I was/am the same way. We love so much of the same things. This weekend I had a bridal shower so I was going through my closet putting together an outfit/accessories and she was right there the entire time helping me and telling me how she wants to be a "fashion girl" when she grows up. I loved having her help me and today when I left she had to look me over and to my delight she said "mama, you look awesome!" Ahh, that kid of mine!

Trevor is doing great! His school work is excellent and he's been working now for a few months. CJ took him to open a checking account and now he has a debit card. He takes it very seriously and is being very frugal with his money (thank you God). He has also helped me with Madelyn and her math studies. It's nice because all three girls are in three different grades so I work one on one with each of them for math and reading so to have the extra help is awesome, plus it helps them bond even more. Trevor will be 18 on January 12th. I am very emotional about this big birthday. I am so proud of the young man he has turned out to be but I miss that little boy too. Motherhood is HARD! LOL... Sometimes you want to run out the door and sometimes you never want your babies to age. Praise God he's starting at junior college so he'll be home for 2 more years.

Below are some pics...Enjoy and have a blessed Sunday!

Finally a family picture!

Linzhi at the fall festival getting her face painted. (it's a dolphin-kinda)

Rachel the kitty cat.

Madelyn at the fall festival. A prayer answered! And of course, miss Linz too!

my pictures are not in order but this is Rachel becoming a kitty!

My girls love craft day, here's Madelyn painting her "Love" plaque. It went along with our bible study. See my chalk board behind her. It's chalkboard paint and works beautifully!

Lu Belle painting her plaque too.

And Rachel Cate.

Hanging with dadda.

Trevor was asked to homecoming by his friend Katlyn. He's of course said yes!

ahhh...Fall!

2010-10-05T21:00:00.004-05:00

This by far is my favorite time of the year! I just love the Midwest especially during fall. On Friday we took a field trip to a pumpkin patch and apple orchard and we all made sweet memories. Watching sweet Madelyn get her first taste of fall in America brings so much joy to my heart, she is always up to try new things and she takes it all in with sheer excitement! Rachel, Linzhi and big bro Trev love to show her how to pick the right pumpkin but Miss Madelyn has a mind of her own (thank you very much) and she will smile with gratitude but then walk right over to inspect the pumpkins she likes. All the girls are getting along for the most part, there are tears from someone everyday but we're praising the Lord Madelyn's grieving has become less and less, she will get emotional and want to be isolated but I have shown a little more tough love and insist once she's had a few minutes to get it out, it's time to regroup and get moving again. It's hard for me to do it but I believe it helps her more than anything. She is also giving out lots of "I love you's" to everyone and of course we all say it back. She is very intersted in Jesus and God and loves to read her bilingual bible grandma Sharon and grandpa Willie bought her birthday. It's so precious to watch and listen to the girls during bible, they have their own interpretations of bible stories. I listen and nod and correct them if they are completely wrong because I do not want to misguide them in anyway however, if they're a little off, I leave them be because I feel they are trying to express how they understand it...Miss Linzhi is the most fun to listen to because she's all over the place but she has it so right when she said to me today... "Jesus lamb of God, worthy is your name" Big tears for mama. Rachel Cate is my little teacher in the making, she is patient and loves to help with Linzhi if I'm working one on one with Madelyn. Actually Madelyn is a great helper with Linzhi too especially in math, in fact she tried to tell me HOW to teach Linzhi her math so I let her do it and when Linzhi looked completely confused Madelyn said to me "Ok, mommy you got it" LOL... I LOVE LOVE LOVE home school. It's just such a precious time, I feel like I'm getting to know them on a different level. Please don't get me wrong some days I could get in my vehicle and never come back but good days out weigh the not so good days and we're having a good time and it's nice to have big brother in the next room. He pops his head in every once in awhile to see what we're doing. God has blessed us so abundantly. I am never worthy of His Grace but He just floods me with it.

Have a wonderful God-filled Wednesday!!
All my babies... My heart is full. I know the sun kind of ruined the shot but I love it anyway.

With Daddy.

With Mama. (yes, we're in a HUGE rocking chair)

Linzhi running to her pumpkin. Oh goodness I love this kid!! (new post coming on Linzhi medical update)

My youngest little birdy.

Rachel and Madelyn running to find pumpkins. Madelyn may have difficulty running but it NEVER stops her!

Yes, the sun was in their eyes but aren't they cute!?!?!

Big bro giving a push.

Linzhi feeding the goats...Rachel thinking about it. =)

And Madelyn thinking about it. It always cracks me up that the "little" sister is the one that is NOT afraid like the "big" Gi gi's

These two are very close.

They loved this school bus!

(birthday wishes)

2010-10-04T16:39:00.001-05:00

Happy birthday to my best friend... Love you!

Finally pictures!

2010-10-01T19:16:00.005-05:00

Ok, Madelyn has been 9 years for almost a week and I am just getting to post her pictures!!! Sorry for the delay! BTW, she has had a great week! Not one episode of grief. I truly believe her birthday was triggering her grief which breaks my heart. She is gaining more and more English which helps in so many ways AND she's maintaining her Mandarin as well. We're encouraging her to read her Mandarin books and practice her Characters as much as possible and she's more than happy to oblige. All my kiddos are doing great with school and just life. God is good. Today we took our second field trip to the pumpkin patch, I should have those pictures to post closer to Christmas...LOL... Have a wonderful weekend and God bless you all. ~Amy

These pics are not in order and I have to upload the pics from CJ's computer...Anyway, we started the morning with donuts and presents from mama and daddy and her sibs then we headed to Nana's Cakery for her party with friends. They were able to make 2 dozen cookies to take home and we had a little cake party in the back room. Then in the evening we had a family party with lots and lots of gifts. Those pics are on CJ's camera but I was able to get a few. Enjoy!

sisters!

At the Bakery with friends.

Having cake in the backroom of the bakery with her friends.

Linzhi and cut Madelyn and Yes, my husband accidently cut my face 0ff in the pic... =)

All ready to roll dough!

Madelyn's new friends and her sisters!

A quick snap with mama before heading to the bakery.

Madelyn and Tinerbelle.

In the livingroom opening gifts!

With her Fur-real pet dog she named "little Madelyn"

So excited for her princess house from her GuGu Trevor.

Excitement!

Someone turned 9 today....

2010-09-25T23:31:00.003-05:00

Happy birthday sweet Madelyn!!! We had a FULL day of celebrations!!! Pictures and text coming soon....Mama is tired!!!

God bless and thank you Lord for our girl.

Life...

2010-09-20T21:47:00.002-05:00

Oh life...I love my life, thank God everyday for the health of my children, husband and myself. I am so thankful to be able to be home with my kids cuz I know what's it's like to have to work outside of the home and trust others to care for my child. I am blessed.

Some days well, life can be interesting... Today for example was Monday, grocery shopping day which means I get up at 6:30am, shower and leave the house by 7:30-8:00am to get my shopping done for the week which consists of 3 different stores due to prices and favorites. We start school late on Mondays so Trevor can be with the girls. I call it "home economics" class for Trevor. I managed to get everything checked off my list in perfect time, I knew it was going to be a great day! I pull in, Trevor helps me unload and then all of a sudden time was flying and one thing after another kept popping up making it impossible to get life in order for my three little peanuts. One needed this, the other that...oh my! The needs just kept mounting up and I was finding myself getting alittle frustrated with my life at the moment. I'm going to be real honest here so please don't judge. Some days I feel defeated. Linzhi needs bathroom assistance, help with feedings, dressing, hair, teeth, etc... Madelyn is pretty independent except for the bathroom if she's wearing pants or shorts of any kind. Rachel is my child that will challenge me from the minute she wakes up until she hits the pillow at night and now all the girls are bickering left and right over the most trivial things in the world! (yes, mom I know Allison and I did the same things) LOL... But all joking aside, today I wanted to be as far away from my house full of blessings as I possible could and I feel terrible about that but that's reality sometimes. I am finding myself very tired. Adopting an older child with a language barrier and with mild but obvious physical disabilities is tough...very tough and some days I talk to her like she understands me and then I forget and run to the translator and type it all in and pray she gets it!! *sigh* One day I know we will be able to communicate and I thank God for every little breakthrough we have with language but some times are more trying than others and bless Madelyn's heart, she is such a trooper. =)

So I admit, all heck broke loose today! But I will say this, we had a great day at school when we finally got everyone in order so we could get to the classroom AND best of all...Madelyn was able to get through the day without crying due to grief (Praise the Lord). See a little breakthrough. =) Tomorrow will be a new day and my girls will wake up with perfect attitudes and happy smiles for each other ALL DAY LONG...Ok maybe not but we'll manage through lots of prayers and I'm sure some laughs and maybe some tears here and there. So I am going to bed tonight with my cup overflowing with gratitude so when all heck breaks loose tomorrow, I'm going to run to my computer and reread my post. ;)

Have a great Tuesday!

One day at a time...

2010-09-16T14:24:00.002-05:00

Actually my new motto is...One minute at a time...one hour at a time... That's how we get through some of our days. It is not terrible at all...It truly is wonderful and I am so very thankful for all my children, my husband, my home, my life. But when you have a child that will be 9 years in 9 days and you've only been apart of her life for almost 2 months life is going to be interesting for awhile. Yesterday was great! Madelyn and Linzhi started dance and Rachel started acrobats (all at the same time at the same studio but in different rooms). CJ and I would go back and forth to watch our girls and WOW they were loving it. Linzhi Rose made sure to tell the dance instructor all about Madelyn, it was precious however when it was shoe change time we had to tell Linzhi to pay attention...I don't think she understood... =) Not only did they have dance in the evening, they also had gymnastics during the day along with school so their day was full so there wasn't much bickering which triggers the melt downs. Today, well let's just say it was better than Tuesday, Madelyn only had one which I'm praising God for. My friends, it so so hard to watch and wait it out but it is so wonderful to know that each time it happens we are getting one step closer to healing and that's why I tell myself one minute at a time, one hour at a time because it happens in a minute and it takes about an hour for her to come out of her fog which always ends in lots of hugging and tears but we're getting there. Thank you for prayers...We can feel them. God is with us no doubt.

Sadness.

2010-09-14T21:58:00.003-05:00

I don't even know how to start this post. Our Madelyn has been hit very hard with grief and loss. We are not surprised or panicking, we are so very sad for our girl. Two times today, I sat next to her in her bedroom as she stared at the wall sobbing for her foster family. I know this because I asked her through the translator. My heart has never felt so much pain for any of my children. Linzhi struggled but not for too long (praise God). At one point today, Madelyn did not want me to hold her or look at her. I was not hurt or upset, I totally gave her space, I just sat next to her so she knew I was there and she was not alone. After 20 minutes, I told her I would be back with the laptop and phone. When I came back I asked her if she would like to call her foster father, she said yes, we dialed and it didn't go through. *sigh* ... So I emailed the orphanage director asking if he could help. We're waiting for a response so please pray we can get him on the phone for her. I would love for her to be able to talk to him 1-2 times per week through SKYPE. So all this happened in the morning. We started school late because everything stopped when she broke down. School was challenging today, the girls were not able to sit still or listen. I almost walked out of the room...twice! I prayed with the girls and by the Grace of God we got through the day. During our lunch break Rachel, Linzhi and Madelyn had words and that sent Madelyn back up to her room sobbing. This time she was angry! She knocked down our folders and threw down her purse. Before I went up, I had a talk with Rachel and Linzhi asking them to be patient and kind to her as she is struggling right now. Rachel burst into tears at the thought of Madelyn missing her family in China. She said to me "it's like if you died mama and we would have to live without you" and I do agree, it is like a death for Madelyn and not being able to do anything but pray for her asking the Lord to heal her, we must wait patiently for her to get this all out so she can heal. It could be years but we're in it forever. When I was finished talking with the girls, I went up to see Madelyn. She had her back to the door and she was facing the wall again. I told her I was coming in and she did move so I could get through the door. She again did not want me to touch or hold her so I sat quietly next to her for about 15 minutes then I had to run to the bathroom and told her I would be back, she nodded without looking at me. When I returned, she had moved away from the door, I sat across from her and she looked right into my eyes. I asked her if I could hold her and she almost jumped into my lap. We held each other for at least 10 minutes crying. I told her through the translator that I know she is hurting, angry, confused, homesick, sad, etc... I told her we love her very much and that I wished I could take all her pain away. I also assured her that it is ok to feel all that she is feeling and we are here to help her through this. I prayed over her aloud and she followed my prayer with an "amen". I (we) love this little girl with all our hearts. She has such a sweet disposition, always ready with a smile or a song so when she hurts, it rips our hearts out. This is a process... A L.O.N.G. process. There's good, there's not so good, there's AMAZING times and not so amazing but the truth is this God is in complete control here, I can feel it all around. The enemy may try to hurt us but the shield of Jesus is so much greater and stronger than that pesty fly, I just do not like it when my baby girl is being attacked. Oh my heart. Please pray for her. She is such a brave little angel girl.

Home School-Mandarin class. UPDATE

2010-09-09T21:28:00.005-05:00

I had a sweet video to post of Madelyn teaching Rachel and Linzhi Mandarin however, for some reason I can't get the video up!?!? So...I have some cute pictures of their Mandarin lesson today which was practicing writing Chinese characters (we bought practice books in Wuhan) and learning colors. Oh how I love to watch this! Madelyn takes it very seriously and so does Rachel, Linzhi...Not so much (lol). Rachel is picking it up quickly which gives Madelyn (and me) great joy. Home school is going great! We are very busy with projects and worksheets but we're having so much fun and it's such a blessing to have Trevor in the next room too. Tomorrow is Friday which means it's art class with Trevor. =)

**UPDATE** The director of Madelyn's orphanage gave us his personal email address and asked that we send updates so they can see how she's doing. So this evening I did just that and requested the update be sent to her foster family as well. Well, within an hour he emailed us back a sweet note and promised to forward the update to her foster family...PRAISE GOD! My prayer is that they have some peace of mind knowing how much she is loved. I know it will be bittersweet. Please pray for healing of broken hearts. I know they miss her and she misses them. I will be showing her the email tomorrow morning, I know she'll be tickled!

Rachel practicing Chinese characters.

Madelyn showing the girls how to write the names of colors in Chinese characters.

Sister love.

Sweetness.

Admiration.

Be still my heart.

2010-09-07T22:24:00.003-05:00

Today in journal writing, I had them copy this sentence into their journal "I give thanks to God for..." Then they had to draw what they were thankful to God for. Madelyn drew a sun, clouds and her forever mama and dadda. When she showed it to me, my heart stopped for a minute...

To my love.

2010-09-05T21:08:00.003-05:00

September 6th marks the day that I married the love of my life. My one and only. Forever.

Happy anniversary to my CJ.

Mama and Madelyn

2010-08-31T20:43:00.002-05:00

Today has been a full day in our house. Now that school has started, I am hearing the alarm clock go off at 5:45 AM! I then pull myself from my comfortable bed, gather my gym clothes and head down to the basement to work out. So far, I'm loving it ...Once I'm out of bed that is... =) I really need to make time to work out, I always feel better (my joints especially) but honestly I am NOT an early morning person so this may be a challenge for me once winter hits. We shall see...

We had a good day with school, the girls were a bit antsy so at break time they went out back to play on the jungle gym to burn off some energy...So I thought anyway...They came back from break with the giggles so needless to say someone got their name on the board as a warning and the thought of losing a sticker for the day which would mean not getting an opportunity to peruse the "treasure chest" on Friday snapped them all out of it and the rest of the day went just fine. Thank you Jesus!!

After dinner and baths, Rachel and Linzhi got in our bed to watch a quick movie before bed. Madelyn wasn't interested so I took the opportunity to have some one on one with my girl. We looked through the pantry and found a muffin mix to make for tomorrow...She was SO excited!! She loves to help me or watch me cook or bake and I am happy for all the girls to help me with certain projects. Now Madelyn loves working in the kitchen right next to me (and I love every minute of it). I feel she has a desire to learn to cook which I am thrilled about! Rachel and Linzhi help me too but it was nice to have some time to bond with her. Just us. It seems God gives me opportunities everyday to snag one of my kids for some alone time and I cherish every minute. We both desire to know them as individuals and love to make special time for each of them even my big guy still needs some mama time (or maybe it;s just mama that does?)

God bless to all...Enjoy the pics below...

Madelyn working hard to mix the batter.

A smile for mama.

Washing up our dishes (she's a diligent worker).

Our finished project! Yummy for breakfast!!

1st day of home school!

2010-08-30T14:00:00.008-05:00

To say I'm overjoyed would be an understatement. I was just as excited as the kids were for our first day of home school. As the hour approached I had butterflies thinking to myself "The Lord must know what He's doing by asking me to educate our children." and I had to repeat that to myself a few times today. We did have a great time and the curriculum is easy to followed and the girls for the most part enjoy it. I can see Madelyn is very gifted in Math, I have decided to get more material to challenge her a bit, she's a wiz at it so I need to build on what she already knows. My Rachel is so gifted in reading/language arts and she is actully assisting me in teaching Madelyn and Linzhi to read. My baby girl, Linzhi Rose is showing signs of being gifted in coloring in the lines and identifying her shapes, colors, numbers and some letters. First thing this morning, I went over class rules, rewards and corrections. I typed everything in a word doc then went to google translate so everything could be printed in Mandarin too. As I went over everything Madelyn had a copy so she could follow along with us and guess what??? She did! I asked her through the translator if she understood and she grinned and nodded. So because I am (maybe )a little type A, I have the classroom extremly organized and an agenda for our day. I went over everything with the girls and they understand we are sticking to a schedule and whatever they use (paper,markers, crayons) has a place to be returned when finished. I understand I need to be flexible but for certain things they are old enough to understand in our house we cannot learn when it's chaos and a mess...Except for craft and experiment time...Then it's fun to get messy!! I know I will learn as I go along but I have the basics down and I know what the girls need to accomplish so they can learn. I am so humbly grateful to God for blessing me with this opportunity, I never thought I could (or wanted to) home school but it gives me such JOY to see my little girls that have physcial challenges and the other that doesn't learning and exploring at home where they are loved and accepted.

Madelyn has been home a month already! Time is flying!! She's still doing good, we've had a few melt downs with lots o'tears which we were glad to see. I hate that she has to greive but she needs to get through it. I know she will carry loss for a long time, maybe all her life but we need her to feel safe, secure and loved and in our hearts we feel she's getting there. Linzhi goes for her MRI (brain and spine) on the 17th so we're praying questions are answered so we can get a game plan for getting her some additional help. So like always, I'm busy but loving it and happy as can be =) Raising 4 kids come with some challenges but God is with us always and knows everything we need...Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfullness and self control (I think I have them in order). Without knowing that, I would be a mess especially during the part of the day when I feel like I can't take one more little girl arguement or reminding Trevor to TAKE THE TRASH out!!!! LOL... It always seems to be that part of the day right before my helper and hubby walks in the door...PRAISE GOD!!!! HELP!!!!! I cherish these times, good and challenging because I know they will only be little once, they will be 18 before I know it and ready for college just as my son will be in 4 short months. Time does not give us a break adnd I refuse to allow the enemy steal my joy of being a mother while I have them here in my nest. So again, thank you Lord for all your blessings and opportunities to teach me another lesson. I am a grateful servant.

Trevor starting his (gulp) senior year of High School. So proud of this Godly young man!
Miss Madelyn!
Miss Rachel Cate!
Miss Linzhi Rose!

Being silly at breakfast.

Craft for the day (each girl made a set-I think this is Madelyn's)
Drawing a picture of things we do in the daylight (from our bible study)
Rachel and Linzhi working hard on their picture too!
Sharing crayons.
Classroom rules, rewards and corrections in Mandarin for our newest family member.
same as above in English.

Another Happy birthday!

2010-08-24T18:52:00.003-05:00

This time it's MY mama having a birthday!! We love you Grandma nessa!!!!

Happy birthday!!!

2010-08-23T08:49:00.002-05:00

Happy birthday grandma Sharon!!! Oh how we love and cherish you!!!

Here are the girls singing happy birthday to grandma!!
Grandma, grandpa and the girls!

This is how they dressed for grandma's birthday dinner!

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!! CJ, Amy, Trevor, Madelyn, Rachel and Linzhi Rose

Mid-August nights...

2010-08-18T22:20:00.004-05:00

Well it's getting to that time of year when the kids are going back to school, pool days are coming to an end and the corn in the fields are beginning to brown...Sigh...Summer is coming to an end. But in our house, we get to keep summer going just a little bit longer. We officially don't start our home school year until September 7th. I wanted to give Madelyn a full month home before we start in with school plus, our room isn't ready yet. Madelyn continues to bond and gel with our family, she's getting more and more "at home" with her new life. Each day she picks up more English which we're thrilled about however, we want her to continue with her Mandarin as well. I'm going to purchase more story books in Mandarin and I found a children's bible in Mandarin and English. Preserving her Mandarin is a top priority for us, it's part of her heritage that we feel she needs to keep. Well, I'm off to bed, it's been a long day and I'm exhausted! God bless!

Trevor getting his first pay check from his new job at his uncles martial arts studio. YAY TREV!

Enjoying ice cream after working up a sweat riding bikes! My sweet Rachel Cate.

Miss Madelyn cooling off with her icy. My beauty from the East.

Sister love.

Linzhi Lu!! I said to her the other night...Linzhi, you're my special little kitty and she replied "no mama, I'm your special little dolphin" She's all about dolphins now. Oh my heart...she melts it everyday (they all do).

Our daughters

2010-08-16T22:56:00.003-05:00

This picture was taken on Sunday which also happened to be Madelyn's FIRST time going to church. We all walked into the girls Sunday school class, I told her to stay with Rachel, she smiled and walked off hand in hand with her mei mei. When service was over, we walked in to find Madelyn and Rachel still working on their match stick crosses (making sure it was perfect). The teachers just raved at how well she did! She followed along and stayed close to Rach. Oh my heart!! I love the idea of Madelyn learning about Jesus with new friends at church. God is sooooooooo GREAT!!!!

Life with Madelyn

2010-08-11T20:51:00.005-05:00

Oh my goodness, we're in love with this child! Madelyn is still doing wonderful! We honestly believe this is ONLY because of the Grace of God and the 16+ months we prayed for this child. And I'm talking about all you bloggy friends too!!! Prayer is an amazing thing!!!!

Yesterday we had some pretty heavy tears from Madelyn (finally). I never want to see my kids cry but I felt Madelyn need a good cry to get it all out...And she did...Twice! I held her tight and just let her cry it out. I myself was starting to tear up because it was obvious she was not crying over the fact that one of the girls (who shall remain nameless) upset her, she was crying for home. China home. I prayed over her and gave her lots of sugar and in time she felt better and went off to play with her sisters after one of them apologized for her actions. All the girls are learning how to be sisters. I often wonder how I would be if my parents adopted an older child and I had to welcome this child into our home. I'm always in amazement at how open minded and easy going my children are when it comes to adoption. They have the mind set that there's always room for one more and that makes CJ and I very very proud!

Bonding continues to be easy but I will admit, last week... I. Struggled. I had a few days of endless tears and feeling out numbered and overwhelmed (thank you to my "in-loves" for letting me cry on your shoulder). I felt it difficult to be mama to all of my kids while struggling with jet lag and a touch of a bug. All I wanted to do was sleep and hide!!! Finally, I mustered up the energy to cry out to Jesus and beg him to not allow the enemy to steel my joy of FINALLY having this precious treasure home, in our arms! On my knees I was praying asking Him to please open my heart to this child, the one I knew He chose to be our daughter. Why was I feeling less bonded to her!??!?! Frustration ensued me as I could not think of anything to do other than get into my bible for strength and guidance. Jesus is always faithful, isn't He? I mean, He promised to never leave us or forsake us and the works of His hands are always for the good and His ways are perfect. Always. So I took refuge in Him and opened my bible. Inside I found all the notes I wrote on the stationary from the hotels we were staying in while in China. I reread through tears all the scriptures verses I wrote during our time across the globe and my eyes fell upon this verse....

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." 1 Peter 22

And with that, it clicked. I felt the Lord telling me ... AMY, LOVE HER FROM YOUR HEART! Love this precious child from Your heart. Stop asking questions, stop doubting, stop worrying and Just love her from your heart. And that's what I did. I stopped all the other distractions from the enemy and Just started to love my daughter from my heart. Madelyn's mother's heart. Within a day things changed, the Lord set me Free and I came out of my fog. Praise you Lord Jesus! Thank you!

I was worried for a couple of reasons and many of you know that Linzhi Rose and I had some difficulty in the bonding department for a few months. The Lord worked on me then too but just differently and I see now with adoption #2 that each time IS different. I was so terrified I would not be able to bond that I closed myself off to her (sort of) because I didn't know how to relax and just let it happen. Madelyn engages me, hugs me, kisses me, loves me (and her daddy), Linzhi on the other hand wouldn't let me hold her for more than a few minutes. She didn't engage me, she didn't know what to do with me but WOW she loved her daddy!! And for that I was so grateful because I knew she could bond to someone. If it couldn't be me then I was happy it was her daddy. So in time, we managed to figure out how to be mother and daughter and now it feels like all the bonding issues never even took place! She is my cuddle bug and loves her mama and her mama loves her more than I could ever have imagined. Adoption is not easy. Adoption will bring you to your knees! However... Adoption is full of miracles. Adoption creates forever families. Adoption saves lives. Adoption teaches. Adoption opens children's hearts . Adoption changes lives-forever!

So now we are beginning to get into a new normal. I am working on the school room everyday and loving every minute of it! The girls have been working a few days a week in these booklets I bought so they can keep up on what they learned in Kindergarten and Pre-school. I bought one for Madelyn and let me tell you, our girl is SMART!!! She can't read English but just show her once and she's got it! Actually, all the girls are bright little bee's so I know we're going to have a good time schooling in our little room. We also signed them up for an art class through our area's home school association, acrobats at the dance studio (all three of them) and we'll be attending a reading program at the library and all the activites going on at church. We'll be busy but it's all spread out through the week so we won't be constantly running. Trevor will start his senior (gulp) year home schooling and soon we'll be getting things ready so he can attend the local community college for two years, then he wants to transfer to Columbia college in Chicago. My boy has plans!! His mama can't stand the thought of him leaving in three years....sniff sniff...

Yesterday, we decided it was time we looked into a different vehicle. Currently, I drive a sweet cross over SUV but Madelyn cannot get in it on her own, it's too difficult for her and honestly, my back can't take much more. So we went to see Chad (my cousin's husband) at the local Chrysler dealership inquiring about a...gulp...mini...gulp...van...big gulp. Back in the day, I would profess over and over again that I would NEVER drive a mini van. I didn't feel we had a big enough family to even consider that type of vehicle (insert nervous laugh). However, watching my child struggle to get in and out of my pretty little SUV was enough to break my heart! I called CJ and said it may be time to look. Right now in my garage we have a Chrysler Town and Country Touring (whatever that means). I have to admit, I LOVE IT!!!!! THE KIDS LOVE IT (well,maybe not Trevor) and CJ LOVES IT. Mini van, where have you been all my life???? Do I miss my sweet little SUV... Not at the moment. Will I when it becomes official and I take all my belongings out of it? Maybe a little. Is it amazing to see Madelyn get into a vehicle with ease? Nothing like it!!

I know I'm jumping all over the place here...Hang with me... The sleeping situation...
Within a week, Madelyn is now sleeping in her room with zero issues. Linzhi is back in her bed and Yes, oh Yes, Rachel Catherine is still sleeping in Linzhi's room!!! Linzhi wants Rachel to move but Rachel refuses and Linzhi is easy to change her mind. Oh well, eventually she'll go to her room...That's what her father and I keep saying (trying to convince ourselves)...LOL...

I've been so bad about pictures but I have been able to capture a few sweet moments. Enjoy!!

Sisters forever!
Getting ready for a dip.
Thrill!!!!
Bonding.
Forever daughter.

WE ARE HOME!

2010-08-05T06:43:00.005-05:00

Praising the Lord, we are home!!! Finally my sweet girls are together and beginning their journey as sisters. I just sent our final post into my adoption website, if you would like to read it, please click this link. http://myadoptionwebsite.com/madelyn (just sent it, might take a bit before it's up)

As soon as I get out of this fog of jet lag, I plan to update my blog on a more regular basis. I think today will be the day I can stay awake past 6 pm!!

Madelyn is doing fantastic! She has been the same happy go lucky little girl since she was placed in our arms on the 19th of July. ONLY by PRAYER, ONLY BY GOD!!!

Love to all!!!!

See you in Wuhan!

2010-07-15T19:08:00.005-05:00

Well, we're almost 12 hours away from leaving and as you can imagine, I still have a lot to do.

Thank you all for your prayers for our travel but also for the support and encouragement when we thought this adoption would not even take place. I am without words when I think of how you all covered us with prayers. This journey happened by the grace of God and all of you!

Here's our travel site, please come with us!!! =)

www.myadoptionwebsite.com/madelyn

Much love to all!
Amy, CJ, Trevor, Rachel, Linzhi and Madelyn

Our game plan!

2010-07-13T21:51:00.001-05:00

Full of butterflies!! Crying at everything!! We're ready!!July 16th – Leave Chicago for Wuhan

July 17th –Arrive in Wuhan, get checked into the hotel (and sleep!)

July 18th –Shop for any necessary items.

July 19th- “FOREVER FAMILY DAY” We will be meeting our daughter at 9am! (8pm-Sunday CST) Afternoon, we will go shopping for our Miss Madelyn!

July 20th- Adoption day! Free in the afternoon.

July 21st- Sightseeing in the AM, PM free time.

July 22nd-CJ flies home. Trevor, Madelyn and I will visit the orphanage in the AM. Complete paperwork in the afternoon.

July 23rd- Get Madelyn’s passport and then fly to Guangzhou in the early evening.

July 24th- Guangzhou! Medical exam, Visa photo and Shopping! Late afternoon more paperwork for me. =)

July 25th- Group picture and then headed to the Jade and Pearl market for more shopping.

July 26th- TB test for Madelyn, possibly more shopping.

July 27th-Guangzhou zoo

July 28th- Consulate appt. (CA)

July 29th- Swearing in at the American Consulate.

July 30th- Pick up Madelyn’s Visa.

July 31st- FLY HOME SWEET HOME!!!!

Time is flying!

2010-07-11T22:31:00.003-05:00

I can't believe we're only 5 sleeps away before boarding that plane to China!!!!

We found out that Madelyn has been told we are coming...I got total goosebumps when I read the email! I wonder what is going through her mind?!?! Please keep praying for her! Every time I think of her, I tear up...I can't believe in 8 days we will be able to actually look at her, possibly even hug her!!!

Your prayers are covering my Rachel! She has now gone from being very nervous and weepy to letting herself get excited for their "vacation" to grandma's and grandpa's. Now Linzhi Rose is not at all anxious, she is SO excited to go on Vacation that she packed her entire book case! I told her she had to unpack some of that stuff because her suit case is way to heavy, she then looked at me and said "But mama, I need all my stuff to go to grandma's!" How cute is my baby girl?

As far as packing goes, I am just about done. I've been taking my time to iron, organize and label...Yep, I'm a dork! I really over packed the first time around but this time I've decided to simplify and not pack any food...except for my Folgers singles, vanilla creamer and Twizzlers, got to have some sugar!! I have three good books that I can't wait to get into, my ipod and camera, I'm good to go! I'm going to bring some games, nail polish, color books/crayons, and some other goodies for Madelyn however, we plan on taking her shopping so she can pick out some clothes, snacks and any toys or books she would like as well. I really can't wait to take her shopping, I'm anxious to see what she likes and dislikes. =)

I feel like it's all coming together so all I have to say is...GET ME ON THE PLANE!

I'll post my itinerary as soon as I get the second half of it, we're still waiting on Guangzhou. I can tell you we get Madelyn on Monday, July 19th at 9AM!!!

Good night and God bless,
Amy

Goodness!

2010-07-07T22:44:00.002-05:00

WOW, what a week already!! We have our confirmed Consulate appointment July 28th!!
We will depart Chicago on July 16th and return on the 31st. It's a bit longer than I thought but I am so grateful Madelyn will be in our arms finally!!! I'm waiting to get our official itinerary from Karla at Lifeline which I will post so you all can see and I will post the link to our travel site again if you would like to follow us along to China! All your prayers mean so very much to our entire family.

There is so much going through my mind. All the what if's...Like is she going to kick and scream because she does not want to be with us (possibly) or is she going to run into our arms and let us hug and kiss her (um...maybe a slight chance) or is she going to be shy, reserved and scared? Who knows? We are again like all adoptive families going into the unknown. However, I will not forget how the Lord completely delivered this child from the life of an orphan. I know I will cling to that as we begin this new journey with Madelyn. She may not want us at first but we certainly want her and that will never change. All the prayers this child is getting from people all over the place will surely help in the transition from orphan to daughter. I covet them all and get so weepy when I think of all the folks that have our backs in prayer. There is so much power to prayer!

I do have another prayer request for our Rachel. She is having a tough time with us leaving, every morning she says "well mama, 9 more days..." it totally breaks my heart into a million pieces. Oh my heart. This journey is so bitter sweet because I am (like so many mama's) not complete unless all my ducks are with me... I guess you can say, we're a little weepy around here but still praising the Lord for all the good He has done!!

Here we go...

2010-07-02T18:58:00.003-05:00

I was so shocked to get the email today!!!! Looks like our Consulate appointment will be on the 26th or 28th of July which means...We're leaving 2 weeks from today!!!!! Our Forever Family day is July 19th!!!!! I will have more concrete dates on Tuesday!

Is this really happening??????

WOW!!!!

*I will post more on Linzhi's doctor's appointment once we have more information. We're waiting for scheduling to call us, the doctor ordered an MRI on her brain and spine. He believes Linzhi does not have Arthrogryposis, he feels she may have a spinal injury due to a possible traumatic birth. We will know more once the MRI results are reviewed. This changes everything! Please keep our Linzhi in your prayers. We praying to get the MRI done before we leave for China. I will keep you all posted.

2010-06-28T09:43:00.002-05:00

Thank you all for the comments and private emails about my last post. We have confirmation from our agency that there are NO exceptions... However, when we are in Wuhan, we both agree we're going to ask again and if it's God's will then things will happen, we're going to continue to pray for a miracle!!!

Any day now we should get our TA, I can't wait to FINALLY get on that plane! I am still praying for July travel so we'll see what His plan is very soon. I can tell Rachel is getting a little anxious because she remembers our first trip and how long we were gone. This time around, she has her sister and her daddy will be coming home much sooner than mama. We are also blessed to have our girls looked after by grandma Sharon and Grandpa Willie, they keep them busy and they get plenty of love.
I have to admit, I'm getting a bit anxious myself. This journey has been very long. I'm not complaining but it's been a ride!!! =) I would do it all over again if asked and I pray this isn't our last adoption journey. I'm excited to go back to China especially with Trevor. I'm excited to see how he will be changed by our trip, I don't think you're ever the same after experiencing what lies ahead. I'm also getting weepy when I think about leaving my little girls and I'm really try to suck it up because I was SO very homesick the first time around and I think it made me miss out on some things so I am praying for my heart to settle and trust that HE will take care of my babies (his babies) while we're gone. Ok, I think I'm rambling and way to emotional right now...LOL... Changing the subject...

This Wednesday night, we're hosting a party for my cousins that are in town from St.Louis. My sweet cousin Lindsay is still in a fight with cancer but she's doing good!! And Jenny, her sister that relocated with her family to help care for Lindsay and her family will be here too. I am so excited!!

Then on Friday, Linzhi, Rachel and I are going to drive a little bit up north to see a new doctor and get a second opinion for Linzhi. We are thrilled to be able to see this doctor. We love Shriners but we want a second opinion before her surgery to see if there's another approach we can take.

CJ is going to be gone a few nights this week due to work so I'm glad I have lots to do to keep me busy. I don't like when he's gone but we are so grateful his business is doing well despite the economy.

Well, I'm off to the grocery store. Have a blessed day!

Heart.Broken.

2010-06-24T23:05:00.005-05:00

See that beautiful soul sitting to the right of Madelyn. After much prayer and mentioning it to my hubby I emailed Karla at Lifeline to see if she could. find out any information on this precious older girl. Karla asked if I had a name or date of birth...Nothing, just a picture. Karla said she would ask Lily and get back to me. I could not get her out of my mind, I instantly planned for her, where we could set up her bedroom, getting her involved in the youth group at church.... I knew in time CJ would come around, he's such a softy and I knew if I had to beg and borrow, I would bring that angel home even if it meant traveling a few months later. I didn't know what to do but pray she hasn't aged out and that we could be her family OR there was a forever family already coming to get her.

Last night Karla sent me a sweet email to let me know this pretty little girl with the yellow shirt has aged out and is no longer eligible for adoption. My.heart.sank. I went to bed in tears, hard tears. I still have a lump in my throat even as I write this and look at her. I can see Madelyn is her friend. What if I meet her in Wuhan? How can I leave with out her? Oh my heart. What will happen to her? I ask the Lord to break my heart for the things that break His. My heart is broken.

Terrific Tuesday!

2010-06-15T20:47:00.008-05:00

WOW! What a surprise for us today!! 24 new pictures of our Madelyn was in my inbox today. PLEASE LORD, IF IT'S YOUR WILL, PLEASE GRANT US A FAST TA!!!

And by the way, the next pictures we post of Madelyn will be from our camera!!!

(our Madelyn is in the middle)

2010-06-14T13:01:00.002-05:00

*ARTICLE 5!!!!! Praise Jesus!!! I just got an email from Karla at Lifeline that Lily picked up our Article 5 and delivered it to CCA@!!

*What's next you ask??? Our TA (travel approval) which could take 2-3 weeks. One step closer to our girl!!!

*Our garage sale yielded $1250 in sales....Thank you Jesus again!!

*So sorry for being MIA again. It's been a very sad. I'll be attending my second wake in less than a week. Gone are two young people both a father and a mother (different families). Please pray for the LaFrance/Lamie family as they said good-bye to Ami and to the Themer family as they prepare to say good-bye to John.

In times like these, I cling to Jesus even tighter. He took the sting from death, by His blood we will live eternally with Him. God is so very good to us.
So very sad. =(

More updates!

2010-05-28T09:20:00.003-05:00

WOW! Things seem to be moving rather fast all of a sudden!

NVC letter came yesterday!!! My Favorite part of the letter is this..

"This case has been forwarded to:"

Guangzhou
People's Republic of CH*NA!!!!!!!

I am soooo excited to get back to China! I have so much love in my heart for the people of that nation. In the mail with our NVC we received a beautiful, eye opening letter from our dear friend Rod about the Christianity movement going on in that country. I will post the entire letter once we're back from China.

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Our sweet Linzhi Rose is schedule for her first surgery at Shriners Hospital on August 25th. I already have a lump in my throat. It's scary but we're so grateful God is right there with her and we trust and believe HE is in total control. Mama's heart is overwhelmed with emotion when it comes to one of her chicks getting ready to face a trial of life. I know there are so many mother's and father's facing much more with their kids so I am very grateful for Arthrogryposis.

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Next week is our big garage sale to help raise additional $$$ for our adoption. Our orphanage donation went up...YIKES... Good thing God already has it figured out, I can't wait to see how the extra money is raised, I always love watching His plan unfold even in trying times. He knows best!

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That's all the updates but I want to add one more thing. I want to keep it real here so here goes...

We are truly overwhelmed at how the Lord totally delivered us through all the trials of this adoption process. So there is never a doubt in our minds that this child is meant to be ours. These are just my thoughts here, I'm not going to speak for CJ... So here goes... I am getting a bit anxious along with all of the excitement. There are nights where I cannot sleep because I am praying and thinking of what lies ahead for Madelyn and our family. My prayers are more directed to Madelyn than anything else. I think about her at 8 1/2, living the life that is "normal" for her, all she's ever known. Then here we come speaking a language she doesn't know, looking completely different than anyone in her circle and then TAKING her from her familiar world. Oh my heart! It breaks every time I think of what she will be facing very soon. Honestly, the bravery of these children humble my heart in so many ways. As excited as we are to go to China and FINALLY see our child, it's bittersweet because of the loss she will face. Good or bad, it's her life and she will grieve for a long time. I know the Lord is near her and loving her so much more than anyone can. I praise the Lord, the creator of heaven and Earth, The Lord of the seen and unseen, our savior, the One who gave it all ...Is right there with us, all of us! For the good and bad He is there. What a relief! I pray Madelyn will know the peace of God and seek Jesus as the savior of her life. All those souls needing to know about Jesus, needing forever families, Madelyn is one of 147 million. Can you believe that number????? 147 MILLION orphans needing forever mama's and daddy's. If you have it in your heart to bring a child into your home to love and nurture, please don't wait another minute. There is NEVER a right time and there will NEVER be enough money, but GOD is so very faithful and will bless you in so many ways, ways you could never imagine. You will never be the same. Pray about it, ask Him to move your heart if you're stuck...And then get ready, buckle up! It's going to be an amazing ride!!!!!

God bless,
Amy

Quick update

2010-05-24T22:22:00.003-05:00

Just a little update on the adoption front...

Last Thursday we received our I-800 approval from USCI$!!!! It only to 2 weeks!! So now we're expecting our NVC letter any day,then it's time to wait for our Article 5, then our TRAVEL APPROVAL. Our adoption agency told us last week to prepare to travel in 8 weeks! All in God's time. =)

Things are soooo busy here at home and I have neglected my blog big time! The school year is coming to a close so this week we have to outside picnics so it should be a great time and next week we're having a adoption fundraiser garage sale so it's been nuts!

I have (almost) completed my shopping list for China. I am not bringing nearly as much as I did the first time around. I decided I'm only going to bring a few clothing items for Madelyn like PJ's and a couple of summer dresses, slippers, undies, etc... I just can't wait to take her shopping!!!

This week I'm ordering one last cake for the orphanage and I'm paying the extra $$ for digital pics so hopefully in the next week or two I'll be able to post our beautiful girl. I just got chills!!! This is the last time I'll receive pictures of her, soon it will be me taking the pictures (or daddy)!!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!

Madelyn's Website is up!!

2010-05-17T21:01:00.006-05:00

When we traveled for our sweet Linzhi Rose, we created a website to log our travels through Joe and Jen at My adoption website. They do such a fantastic job creating beautiful "life books" for our girls that I had to do it again for Madelyn. Here's the link if you would like to check it out!!

http://www.myadoptionwebsite.com/madelyn/

*Adoption update*
Today, we received our I-800 approval from immigration!!!! Whoo hoo!! Another box checked off!!! It's getting closer and closer ... I'm feeling July!!!!

Enjoy your week!

My blessings...

Our valentine

Father-Daughter dinner

Gus

Nemours WREX Robotic Device Helps Children Reach Higher

Sweet Pea turns 7 and WREX!

Little surprises in my inbox

This child of mine.

LOA!!!!!!

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

Arthrogryposis

My Gracie

My Kidsin pictures (missing Trevor-boo hiss)

When you get all twisted up with anxiety and junk...

My heart.

Linzhi Rose Xiao Li

Rachel Catherine

YAY!!!!!!

Exciting news!

Happy 6th birthday to our baby far far away...

Pumpkin patch!

Madelyn

Another step...

She knows.

A notice

First day of school!

Look who was in my inbox...

HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE!

Another ***URGENT*** prayer request

Prayer Request

Catching up!

WINNER!!!!

Gracie & Linzhi

Happy father's day!

Home sweet home!

update and pictures

Linzhi update

Tomorrow- Surgery day!

My boy

Linzhi Rose

My head is spinning...

Guess who's coming to our house???

Rachel is SAVED!

My Rock. My gift.

From conflicting hearts to PEACE

Pouring out my heart.

Happy Mother's day!

Thank you Jesus!

Update in pictures! (in no particular order)

Sharing Madelyn's story

Confessions...

Cross and stitch

Trevor

catching up!

To blog or not to blog?

3 year forever family day!

Birthday wishes for my baby girl

Our new family member.

This and That.

ahhh...Fall!

(birthday wishes)

Finally pictures!

Someone turned 9 today....

Life...

One day at a time...

Sadness.

Home School-Mandarin class. ***UPDATE***

Be still my heart.

To my love.

Mama and Madelyn

1st day of home school!

Another Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!!!

Mid-August nights...

Our daughters

Life with Madelyn

WE ARE HOME!

See you in Wuhan!

Our game plan!

Time is flying!

Another URGENT prayer request

Home School-Mandarin class. UPDATE